The Not So Wonderful Life of Dib
by girfukker6669
Summary: I think JV made up Dib and Gaz's pasts on the spot when he was asked. "Oh, they're just Prof. Membrane's clones." If he had put some more thought into it, it might come out similar to this. ... Or not.
1. The Shortest Prelude EVER

"Do we really have to do this? Can't we just adopt a child so you can test experiments on him or her?"

"No, no, the law says it has to be our biological child, or else we will both be arrested."

"Okay, but if this doesn't work, then I'm not doing this again! The next child we have will be for taking care of, like a normal child, okay?"

"Of course. Whatever makes you happy, my love."

"It just makes me happy to be here with you."

...

"Is there something the matter?"

"Why do you get so few days off lately?"

"It's a matter of science. It's why we need a legal test subject. You will be contributing to science; this experiment can save so many lives if it works!"

"... Why can't we use any of the test subjects in the location in Upper Michigan?"

"Those aren't _legal_ test subjects; we still have to rehabilitate them to society."

"Alright..."

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><p><strong>AN: New story. Quick, mysterious prelude. **

**Enjoy!**


	2. Xrays and North Korea

**A/N: Twenty visitors in (not even) two days. For an incredibly short prelude.**

**It must have been that you guys were expecting more, and were disappointed. Because I _know_ that I'm not famous. **

**...**

***Is secretly really happy***

**Enjoy, you guys.**

* * *

><p>"Okay, what is this for? It doesn't even make sense."<p>

Mrs. Eleanor Membrane sat on a chair in one of her husband's laboratories. He held what appeared to be a stethoscope attached to a computer up to where their child was three months from being born.

"This machine sends certain x-rays that travel through your body. They don't affect a fully-grown organism, but this will cause various disorders to developing children. If I can control how these waves are sent, I can give our chi- experiment, for example, a faulty immune system, a blood disorder, and so on."

"... It still doesn't make sense. What if you kill him?"

"This machine is controlled enough that it isn't able to send off enough rays to kill him. Why are you worried? You said you didn't care about him since he isn't a 'real child'."

"Yes, but I don't want a dead fe-"

A scientist stormed into the room. "Professor Membrane! Professor Membrane! It's North Korea and they-"

Professor Membrane cut him off. "Again? Look, here." The professor grabbed a piece of paper an wrote out a note.

_Hello again, North Korea:_

_We both know the ablilties of our countries._

_You cannot keep harassing others. Unless,_

_your country is able to create an atomic_

_bomb that is tailor-fit for us so it doesn't_

_destroy any surrounding countries. We know_

_ we can do that, but we can't say the same of_

_you. Please calm down and get along._

_ ~Professor Membrane_

Professor Membrane handed this to the scientist. "Use this. If it doesn't work, then tell the government to blow them up."

"Yes, sir!" The scientist scurried out of the room.

Now that the scientist was gone, Professor Membrane could continue. He finished sending the x-rays and did a quick scan to make sure everything was going according to plan. "Perfect. My dear, this experiment will become the biggest discovery since vaccines."

Mrs. Membrane got up. "Okay, then. I'll see you again tomorrow for this?"

"Yes. Every other day, remember."

"Got it. Every other day. Bye, Clarence!" She walked out of the laboratory, got in her car, and drove home.

Once she was out of earshot, the professor mumbled to himself. "She has to stop calling me by my first name. People will find out!"

When she got home, she quickly dug out her Game System and turned it on. She inserted her Portal 2 disk. "An oldie but goodie, it never gets old," she reminded herself. She played for a few hours, starting and practically finishing a new game. "Ugh, I feel so sluggish. I'm usually able to finish by now." She finished playing, ate some leftover Chinese food that was in the fridge, and went to bed.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Glob, these chapters are short. But since they are a series of flashbacks, and not one seamless story that covers every single moment in time, the chapters will usually be short. But sometimes they will be extra-long. It will vary.**

**And yes, Prof. Membrane's first name is now Clarence. Why, you ask? Because it is fitting.**

**So, what did _you_ think?**


	3. IMMUNE SYSTEM EXPERIMENT: IN PROGRESS

**A/N: How is this so popular?**

**Not even a thousand words, and it almost has a hundred or so views. While my other story is more than four times this size, and has only half.**

**...**

_**Oh, and Too Lazy To Login, whoever you are, Prof. Membrane is a title and a last name. Prof. Is like Mr., but sounds smarter. So I doubt his name is Membrane Membrane.**_

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>"Congratulations, Mrs. Membrane! You have a-"<p>

The doctor was cut off short. "Alright, send him to the lab."

The doctor was confused. "What do you mean, 'send him to the lab'? You have to at least want to-"

"Look, my husband knows what to do from here. The boy isn't healthy, whether he looks it or not." The newborn child didn't truly look healthy, either. He was very thin, and had a slightly, uh, _disproportional_ head. He doctor handed the child off to a nurse, who handed it to a secretary, who handed it to an intern, who brought it to Membrane Labs.

Once there, he was placed into what appeared to be a tank full of goo. One of the scientists asked, "Why are we putting the child in here, Professor?"

"The child is in a critical condition, and must keep him safe," Professor Membrane answered, "but we cannot preform the experiment on him until he has grown to at least two months of age. We need to wait for him to slow his growing to a less rapid pace. This tank has all the nutrients he'll need for the next two months, and he is able to breathe in it."

"Oh, okay."

The scientists left the room to work on other experiments, but the Professor lingered behind a bit longer. He spoke to the newborn. "You will be the most famous experiment known to man, and you don't have to do very much.. Do you wish to save thousands of people across the globe?"

The infant, however young, already had a slight scrap of intelligence, along with an urge of loyalty to his father and others. He nodded ever so slightly.

"Now that's my boy! All you have to do is stay alive for at least two more months, staying in here, and keeping quiet. Can you do that?"

The child nodded again.

"Great! I shall check on you in a week, I hope to see you then!" With that, Professor Membrane turned out the lights and locked the door on his way out. On the door was a sign:

IMMUNE SYSTEM EXPERIMENT: IN PROGRESS.

:~:~:

When Mrs. Membrane got home a few days later, she was ecstatic. "Finally! I am ridded from that wretched 'science experiment' child! I will never have to worry about him again! Time to celebrate with a round of classic Portal!"

However, as she was about to sit down, she got a phone call. "Who could that be?" She picked up the phone and saw it was her friend Martha. She quickly pressed Talk.

"Hello! It's so good to hear from you! How's Delaware been? Nice place? Good. Oh, the child? Don't you mean the experiment? I made sure he was sent off straight to the lab! ... Why would I do that? If I get attached to him and he died, that wouldn't be good. Besides, he isn't a real child, just an experiment. Well, I hope to hear from you soon! Bye now!"

Mrs. Membrane ended the call and put the phone in its charger. She started up her laptop, deciding to play Minecraft instead of Portal.

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><p><strong>AN: Thanks for reading this, you guys. **

**But really, I haven't done that much with this yet. Check out my other story; it has more to it and I worked hard coming up with it. I mean, anyone and everyone can make a story about Dib's past, but I combined Invader Zim and Pokemon in a way that makes more sense than, "My IZ OC getz stuk in teh Pokeymon World." Because anyone can do that, too.**

**_No offense to anyone who may have written a story based on that sort of thing, I'm sure it is better than I made it sound._**

**So, how was this chapter?**


	4. Six O'Clock News Special

**A/N: Ugh, sorry for not updating right away, but wasn't working yesterday, and it threw me out of whack.**

**But hey, I posted some stuff on my new DeviantART account! The URL is on my profile.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>"Okay, we're on in three, two, one..."<p>

"Hello, I am Ms. Pearson, and welcome to the Six O'Clock News Special! We're here today in front of the Membrane Laboratory, where a crowd of people have gathered. Let's see why they're here!"

"Where's the child?"

"How can you conduct tests on your own child?"

"_YOU STINK!_"

"Hm... Well, there has been rumors spreading around that Professor Membrane and his wife hAd a child, and that this very child is now being tested upon! Oh, here's the Professor now!

Hello Professor Membrane, we would like to know about these rumors about your apparent child. Are they true?"

The Professor looked at the newswoman with a confused look on his face. "Huh? What child? I have no child, and I have no idea what any of you are talking about. If I do happen to have a child one day, then my wife and I would take care of the child like good parents."

"Well, folks, you heard it here first. There is NO Membrane child yet. Keep watching, every day at six PM, for more current news!"

:~:~:

Inside the lab, the child was still alive. He sat there and watched as the various scientists ran in and out, constantly checking on him. He wanted to help with them as much as he could. He wanted to save people's lives, no matter what it took.

Sometimes, however, the child would feel pain. A burning sensation running through every part of his small body. Not unlike the pain he felt when they sent the x-rays into him when he was still developing in his mother.

But he just drifted in the odd goo. He didn't let any of the scientists see that he was in pain. He didn't make a single sound, either. He just waited. And waited.

And waited.

Sometimes, his father didn't come to see him. But most of the time, the Professor came. His father would say hello, check on the computer, talk to the child. Sometimes, his father reached in the tank and checked on his reflexes. Well, that's what the Professor called it once when someone else walked in. It was more like a pat on the head, or a little rub behind the ears.

The child liked that.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: No, I've never really watched the news before.**

**Well, this was a REALLY short chapter, but I liked the idea of ending the chapter on that note. I'll probably update with a new chapter by tonight.**

**Was this chapter good enough?**


	5. EXPERIMENT COMPLETED

**A/N: Second chapter in one day...**

* * *

><p>The fated day finally came...<p>

"Get the test subject! It's been two months!" Scientists ran around, hurrying to get the area clean before the experiment took place.

Professor Membrane reached into the tank, grabbing the child and placing him on the operating table. The experiment began.

One of the scientists didn't understand one thing, though. "Excyse me, Professor, but why did we have to make his artificial blood blue?"

"Well, we want to be able to tell which blood is old and which is new, without having to use a microscope. When and if this experiment works and we use it on others, the blood will be red. This blood is mostly a prototype."

"That makes sense..."

Now, the experiment that Professor Membrane had planned all along was to see if you could rebuild someone's immune system after it had gone. This would help people with certain diseases, or this could even be used if someone has a blood disorder.

After a few hours, the experiment was finished. Now all the scientists had to do was wait for the results. Would the child live?

:~:~:

Needles.

So many needles.

The child didn't realize that helping people would mean being torn apart. Or watching as they filled his body with a blue fluid.

They tried to give him something to make him fall asleep. It was a paste. He didn't take it; it tasted horrible.

He wished he had taken it.

But it was too late now, he was stuck watching as they did this to him. He didn't make a noise, he was afraid he would mess them up. No helping people when you're dead. So, he watched, and waited.

Finally, the put their tools away and stopped. There was an odd tingling sensation filling his body now. His father picked him up and placed him back in the tank. It was weird, trying to get used to air after being in that goo for so long, and vice versa. He was constantly monitored now, by either one of the scientists, or most of the time, his father.

This time, after the tingling went away, there was no pain. No fits of burning pain. Maybe the blue fluid was made to take away the pain. His father seemed happy, like he was glad that the experiment succeeded. Or maybe his father was glad that he was alive.

The second thought didn't occur to him until Professor Membrane said, "I'm proud of you, son."

:~:~:

That was when Professor Membrane realized something. "We never named you, did we?"

There was a good reason that he hadn't named the child yet; the Professor wasn't sure if the child would live. He _still_ may not live. His heartbeat was off. It scampered and changed beat constantly. Sometimes it would be normal, other times, it would be going a mile a minute. Yet other times, it would be so long in between two heartbeats, that the scientists weren't sure if the child was still breathing.

Rapid, yet cautious.

"I have a name for the child!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: ... Well, technically, it's 12:30-ish.**

**CLOSE ENOUGH.**

**dib (verb): "to move in a rapid, cautious manner; especially, movement like a mouse or rat."**

**^From Wiktionary, second English definition.**


	6. Lung And Filter Organs

**A/N: _So, I herd u liek this story?_**

**Well, thanks! It's pretty neat to have people like my stuff.**

**...**

**And no, I don't liek Mudkipz.**

* * *

><p>"What's happening? Why is the child panicking?"<p>

The child, newly dubbed Dib, was breathing funny. He was outside his tank so the scientists could check on him. Shockingly, he was struggling to breathe the air. Professor Membrane ran to the child. "He's become too used to the tank! We have to make a lung transplant, fast!"

"But Professor," one scientist pointed out, "we don't have any spare lungs in his size!"

"Well, then, stick him back in the tank and we'll make a new lung!" And stick him back in the tank they did. Dib gasped in the goo, and his breathing returned to normal. Professor Membrane and the other scientists started to work on his new lungs right away.

"Professor, this synthetic material doesn't react well to large amounts of pollution..." one scientist observed as they tested the prototype. It looked and felt like a real pair of lungs.

"Well, we'll have to adjust the organ then... What if we made a smaller organ, attached to the lungs, which would filter out pollution before it reached the lungs? Then, when that organ is filled, it will expell the pollutants through a bit of coughing."

"Brilliant!" multiple scientists chimed. To make _this_ prototype work, they had to remove one of the lungs to fit the new filter organ. As soon as they finished, they pulled Dib out of the tank and quickly replaced the organ. They forgot to try to give him anything to ease the pain, they were in such a rush. They knew that most living things cannot go very long without lungs.

:~:~:

_Why must everything hurt?_

Dib's first sentient thought was much different than his father's, that's for sure.

_There is no paste this time. I wouldn't mind having it now... But, of course, this is to help mankind! It's for the best! It doesn't matter how much it... hurts..._

_Don't scream, don't scream..._

Dib watched with relief as his chest was sewn back together. _Finally, it's over... I won't be stuck in a tank or in pain anymore._

Well, at least Dib got the first part right.

:~:~:

"Well? Does the prototype work?" All the scientists were curious at how their artificial lung-and-filter organ worked. Dib was breathing the air normally. The scientists cheered in success. The organ _did_ work!

Professor Membrane wasn't entirely satisfied. "Now, will he eat? He hasn't recieved nutrients from anywhere except for in the tank." The Professor ran out of the room to get some food and water for the child. When he got back, the scientists were playing with the baby; making silly faces and talking in a ridiculous voice. The Professor smiled. "Time to eat, Dib!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Cute, slightly ominous ending. I think my writing skills are improving.**

**Sorry that these chapters are so short, but these endings work perfectly.**

**So, what are your opinions this time?**


	7. Finishing Touches

**A/N: More writing for you. Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Happiness. People who cared for him and acknowledged him as a human being. Why couldn't Dib feel like this more often?<p>

_That looks a lot like the paste... Are they going to test another experiment on me?_ Of course, Dib had never seen baby food before. He's only absorbed the nutrients from the goo in the tank. His father walked up to him and held him. The Professor spoon-fed the child. Dib was unsure at first...

_This doesn't taste that bad, actually... This is good! It doesn- AAUUGH!_

:~:~:

"Well, he's eating... That's a good-" Professor Membrane was interrupted by the vomitting of his child. "What happened?"

"Professor, maybe the child didn't like the food..."

The Professor wasn't so sure. The child looked like it was holding its stomach in pain. "I have a feeling that his stomach is too adapted to the tank's nourishment, like the lungs. We need to replace this organ, too."

They designed a whole new digestive system, since the new stomach didn't fit with the rest of the organs. The material making the walls of the organ had to be stiff to hold the new digestive juices, so the organ didn't stretch well. In such a small body, it was a little too big for some parts. Certain parts were now completely unnecessary: the new stomach digested the food so well, it never left solid waste behind. "Well, removing that helps save space," the Professor stated as they designed the new intestines. These intestines stretched better, since they weren't designed to store what was basically corrosive acid.

This time, they remembered to give Dib the paste, and he willingly ate it. Once he fell asleep, the scientists got to work. This transplant went very smoothly. However, when they saw the inside of the child, it appeared the his bones were being corroded. "It looks like the blood dissolves the bone." Professor Membrane ordered some of the scientists to figure out how to make new bones. "There always seems to be a big negative to each experiment we test on this child..."

To replace all the bones, they had to use a growing synthetic material. They also had to recreate teeth for when they grow in. These teeth, since they are made of that same material, will grow to fit the child's mouth, instead of falling out and being replaced with new ones. The new bones were made with a lightweight material, and were designed to be hollow, yet strong enough to not break as easily as regular bones.

These bones were put into Dib before he woke up. When he did, the child looked dazed. Professor Membrane tried feeding his son again. The infant ate without issue.

"Hooray!" The scientists were glad that they were able to save the child from starving to death or turning into a pile of boneless mush.

The Professor was glad too. "Tomorrow, son, you will be able to go home and meet your mother!"

After three months of living in a laboratory, Dib was finally going home.

:~:~:

"Yes, yes, I'll be finished with the review by tomorrow!" Mrs. Membrane was finishing up a new game to be reviewed for , the leading video game website. She hung up the phone, just to get another call.

"Yes, who is- Oh Clarence! It's wonderful to hear from you! Are you finally coming home after a month in that dull lab? ... The experiment, you mean? Uh, well, I'll see if I can clear out a spare room... Of course I'm looking foward to seeing him, it's just... How is he? ... Almost as if nothing happened? You sure? Okay, be home by tomorrow though, okay? Bye, love you." She put the phone into its charging stand.

"Sigh... Great. Now I do have to worry about that little brat. How is he still alive after an experiment like Clarence descibed? This is going to be one _fun_ experience."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Meh, sorry about being so long, I got Writer's Block halfway through the chapter.**

**Ooooh! Dib's coming home! Coming up in a few chapters (probably): Why I Rated This Story T!**


	8. Coming Home

**A/N: Meh. Not really in the mood for writing this chapter, but I have to write this (and the rest of this story) if you want to understand the other stories I'll post eventually.**

**Here it comes!**

* * *

><p><em>Where are we going? Why are we leaving? Are the tests over?<em>

Dib was taken out of the laboratory. For the first time since he was brought in there when he was born, he was outside. The sign on the door read: IMMUNE SYSTEM EXPERIMENT: COMPLETED.

He was carried out by his father, who was beaming with pride. "Son, you're alive. You helped us with this blood experiment, and we will adjust it so there will be no bone-corroding side effects. We have also learned how to make both lungs and the entire digestive system from scratch. You will save many people, more than we expected. You should be proud, too."

_I did help people. I helped mankind. But we're leaving. Does that mean I'll be taken to another lab? What other place is there? __... The shiny white place? Am I going back there?_

Almost as if to answer his son's questions, the Professor whispered to himself, "We're going home..."

:~:~:

"Guess who's home?" Professor Membrane called out as he walked into his home for the first time in a month, with his son in his arms.

"Clarence, dear! It's wonderful to see you again! How long can you stay home this time?" Mrs. Membrane asked cheerfully, completely ignoring the child.

"I can stay home for the rest of the week. I trust this isn't a bad week?"

"No, no, you just missed it. Last week would have been a bad week, but you're fine now."

"Good. Now, I noticed you haven't said hello to someone yet..."

"Huh? I already said hello to you, and there is no one- Oh." Her gleeful tone was gone. "Hello, little test subject."

"Dear, he isn't a test subject anymore. His name is Dib."

"Dib? What kind of name is that?"

"It's unique, and it was fitting at the time."

"It isn't even a name, how was it possibly fitting? Look, we can keep him as a pet or something, but you can hardly consider him a human with what you did to him!"

Professor Membrane walked inside the house and sat down, on the couch in the living room. "He is our son. You should love him no matter what. Whether or not he will be considered human is besides the point."

"You're the one who told me not to get attached to the experiment! And I didn't! You never said I would have to take care of him if he survived!"

"I suppose I did say not to get attached to him at first. But now he's alive! How can you not be happy our son is alive?"

"Clarence, that laboratory experiment is not my child. I thought we would send him to an orphanage or something if he survived. I refuse to take care of him."

The Professor sighed. He whispered something into his wife's ear.

"Hm... Okay. Can we start right away?"

"Sure, my love." Professor Membrane left his child sitting on the couch and followed his wife into their bedroom.

:~:~:

Many questions raced around in Dib's head. _Who was that lady? Why does she look so familiar?_

_... What is this squishy thing I'm sitting on? It isn't like someone's lap, or the tank, or a table. It feels like the fabric that they covered me in. What is the stuff they covered me in, anyway? Everyone is wearing this fabric stuff. It must be what people do._

_But that lady said that I wasn't a person. Because I helped save people's lives... Right? That was what those experiments were for, right? But I am a person, just filled with blue fluid. And squishy stuff. Blue fluid and squishy stuff. Does that make you not a person?_

_... Of course I'm a person! Why else am I wearing this fabric stuff? Sitting on a fabric squishy thing, like they were. I must be a person._

Dib felt a squeezing feeling in his middle. _Huh? That's weird. What does that mean? My mouth is dry, too. Hm... Well, maybe it's because I haven't had any colorful paste in a few hours. Maybe I could find some..._

The infant looked around. He saw a brighter lit room to his right. Inside, there were some shiny objects, covered in what appeared to be... _Colorful paste! Yes! Now, all I need to do is get over there. Let's see... It's a big fall to the floor... It seems like that doesn't have fabric covering it. Not good._

He was startled from some grumbling and moaning noises coming from his middle. _Wha? What was that? It must be something in there that wants the colorful paste. I have to get over there!_

_Okay, think. Maybe if I slowly drop off of this fabric thing? That could work, as long as I don't slip. _The child tried it, and succeeded._ Yes!_

_Now, to get into the brighter room... That's easy, just crawl over there. _He did just that, but it took longer than he expected._ Whew... There better not be too much no- Aw._

The shiny objects covered in colorful paste were up high on a table, higher than the fabric object. _Okay..._

_Hm..._

The child heard some more moaning noises, so he assumed that it was his middle again. _I have to hurry! Who knows what'll happen if I wait too long! Let's see..._

There were some various objects littering the floor near a medium-sized container. _Maybe if I flipped that upside-down, I could use it to climb up there!_

Dib crawled over to the side of the container. He pushed at it to try to knock it over. When it did fall, he wasn't expecting the loud crash of the container and all of its contents spilling out and landing on the ground.

"What was that?"

Dib started to get nervous. _Uh oh. Not good, not good! What will they say? They'll be mad for sure! What do I- Oh look, there's some colorful paste in there! Might as well, it's too late to get out of trouble..._ The infant crawled over to the various objects that spilled out of the container to look for something that seemed edible.

His father ran into the room soon after the container fell. _That's strange... He's wearing less fabric stuff than he was before... _

"Well, it looks like someone's hungry! Come on, let me get you something better to eat than garbage." His father picked Dib up and searched for something the child could eat. "Hm... It doesn't seem like we have much. Eleanor, dear, do you think you could-"

"No."

The Professor laughed. "Slow down, I was just going to ask if you could go out to the store to buy something soft for our child to eat."

"Okay, fine. Let me just neaten up a bit." A few minutes later, she ran out the door.

Professor Membrane looked at his child. "Don't worry about your mother, son; she will get used to you soon enough."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Longest chapter that I've written yet! Whoo!**

**I actually enjoyed writing this after a break. I think my Writer's Block just came for a day or so. But now that this chapter is written, what do _you_ think will happen next?**


	9. Keep Quiet, Listen to the Laptop's Story

**A/N: I made a new forum! For roleplaying! At the IZ Skool! Here's the link (replace (dot) with . ):**

http:/forum**(dot)**fanfiction**(dot)**net/forum/Skool_RP/105241/

**I included this a while back in my less popular story, but now I'm showing you guys so there will be more visitors! Yay!**

**Also, I wrote a new story, but it's in an obscure catergory that no one will find on their own. It's called Interview Time with HP and RB. The first chapter (episode) is about ZaDr. Check it out on my Profile if you're interested. Or look up the catergories Cartoon X-overs and Game X-overs when looking in the Crossovers section. Whatever suits you.**

**Shameless self-advertising is fun. o(^▽^)o**

* * *

><p><em>"Iron is a metal, you see it every day<em>

_Oxygen, eventually will make it rust away_

_Carbon in its ordinary form is coal_

_Crush it together and diamonds are born"_

"Dib! Shut off that stupid music of yours, will you?" Dib's mother shouted as she passed by Dib's room. She wasn't in the best of moods today, and she was only getting more and more annoyed at Dib by the second. He quickly shut off the music.

Dib, by now, was a little over a year old. He now had a younger sister, who was born only a month ago. The music he was listening to was given to him by his father on his first birthday, along with a small device. The device was called Navigational Intelligence Computer, or NaInCom for short. It was created to guide and watch over Dib, not unlike a babysitter. It had very few buttons, but it was far from primitive. It was the device that Dib was using to play the music. It could also speak, see, hear, and record sounds and videos. It had a vast amount of knowledge, so it could answer any of the child's possible questions.

"Would you like me to just make the music softer?" NaInCom asked. Dib didn't respond; he was watching what his mother was doing. She was sitting in the couch, as Dib learned the squishy fabric thing was called, in the living room. She held her daughter, named Gazlene, in her lap as she played a first-person shooter. "Oh, that's just the _perfect_ game to play with a one-month-old girl."

Dib was confused. "Why?"

NaInCom tried to explain. "Well, that was sarcasm. Sarcasm is when you say the opposite of what you mean, usually emphasized so one can tell that you aren't being honest. So, when I said, 'That's just the _perfect_ game to play in front of an infant,' I mean that it's really bad to play that game in front of infants. That includes you, Dib. Get back over here."

The young boy crawled back over to NaInCom. "Story, Nan?"

"Dib, look. It's NAH-EYN-COM, not Nan. NAH-EYN-COM. You try."

"...Nan?"

"Ugh, nevermind. I should be glad that you can at least talk. Most humans your age can only giggle and scream. So, you wanted a story?"

"Story."

"Okay, let's see... How about... The History of-"

"Story."

"Not a big history fan, huh? You didn't even know that I was going to talk about the history of Bigfoot, did you?"

"...Foot!"

"Bigfoot it is, then. Well, legend says-"

Dib's mother barged into the room, Gazlene in her arms. "Dib, would you shut off your stupid computer for once? Gazlene and I can't hear the game. One unheard footstep and we're dead!"

"Well," NaInCom retorted, "if you'd let me tell _your_ son some stories, he may fall asleep, making him quiet!"

"Yeah, well, if you do that, then don't tell him some lame-ass fairy tales, got it? We don't approve of that ridiculous stuff, not in the Membrane household!"

"He's a child, for Pete's sake! It wasn't even a fairy tale! The stories that I was told by his father to tell him bore him; he doesn't have a caring family to entertain him. I don't want to bore him more! And will you watch your language, if not around Dib, than at least around Gazlene!"

"You know who you sound like? You sound like the biggest f*cking nag in video games, Navi. And your name is fairly close, too! From now on, you're being called Navi around here." Eleanor Membrane turned to face Dib. "And _you_, you little brat! You stay quiet for the rest of the day, or no dinner!"

Dib crawled into the corner, silent as a mouse. NaInCom spoke up again. "Watch your language! Just get out of this room before you start beating the poor boy!"

Mrs. Membrane gave NaInCom an evil glare, then stormed out of the room. "Dib, come out of the corner. It's safe now."

Dib came over to the device with a scared look on his face. "...Nan?"

"Yes, Dib?"

"Why?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Whoo! Another decent sized chapter! I'm getting better at this.**

**For those of you who didn't know the song, it's _Meet The Elements_ by They Might Be Giants. The band has a few educational albums, including the one that Dib got from his father: _Here Comes Science_.**

**What else would Professor Membrane give Dib? (^_-)**

**So, how was this chapter?**


	10. It's the Alien Ghost Bee Babies, Uncle!

**A/N: Not much to say today. **

**Well, except that my other story _Come To Me _might go on a hiatus. But, since so few people read it, I guess most of you wouldn't care. I can only name one person who would not want this to happen. The only reason to take a break with CTM is so this and other main fanon story ideas can catch up first.**

**Whatever, I guess. Enjoy.**

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><p>Gaz was sitting on the couch playing on her mother's Game Station. Now that she was three, she was allowed to play any of her mother's games without supervision.<p>

"Gaz, it's time for dinner!" Eleanor Membrane called cheerfully. Gaz's mother was in the kitchen, setting the table for the two of them. Gaz paused the game and sat at her seat for dinner.

Gaz didn't really talk much yet. It wasn't that she didn't know how, it was just that she prefered silence over her own voice. She quietly ate her dinner, which consisted of a MacMeaties burger, some fries, and a can of Poop Cola. Her mother wasn't much of a cook. Gaz only finished half of the burger, but finished the rest. Her mother had some leftover fries. Once Gaz left, her mother cleaned up the table, but left the food scraps behind on a new plate.

"DIB! Where the f*ck are you?" Once the boy ran into the kitchen, she continued, "Time for dinner. You're lucky this time, your sister wasn't that hungry today." Dib sat down at the table and started eating ravenously. "Slow down! Do you want to choke yourself? I'll tell you when you will or won't be getting hurt." The boy slowed down his eating. Mrs. Membrane walked out of the room to check on her computer.

Once he finished, he automatically ran over to the sink to wash the dishes. He was too short to reach the sink on his own, so he used a stepladder. Unbeknownst to him, Gaz was in the corner of the kitchen, with a string tied to the stepladder in her hands. Once Dib was holding a good amount of plates in his hands, she tugged on the string. Dib, along with all of the plates he was holding, fell onto the floor. One dish broke, another one was cracked. His mother heard all the noise. "Dib! What the hell did you do? You clumsy idiot!" Gaz smirked.

"But I didn't do anything! Gaz-" Dib was stopped short by a slap to the back of the head.

"Don't go blaming your sister for this! _You_ were the one washing the dishes! Clean up this mess or no dinner at all tomorrow!"

Dib sighed quietly. "Yes, Mom."

As he was cleaning up the shards of broken fake ceramic, one got stuck in his hand. "Ow!" Every time he moved his hand to pick up another piece, he felt it slightly sting in its puncture wound. This got Dib thinking. "Hm... Is that what I'm like to Mom? A slight annoyance that needs to be taken care of before it gets worse?" Dib was silent for a moment. He watched as a tiny puddle of blue blood appeared around the wound. "Nah, of course not! She loves me, just like a mother should. She 's only disciplining me, so I know how to behave in front of others! I'm sure she does the same with Gaz, only when I'm not around. Gaz is never around when Mom really disciplines me."

Dib could still feel the last time his mother really "disciplined" him. A TV remote aimed at the nose does more than just a sting. Luckily, Dib didn't have his glasses on at the time, so there were no pieces of glass all over the place.

Once Dib finished cleaning up the plates, he ran into his room to try and call up his father. "I bet he can't wait to hear about those alien ghost bee babies I found in the park the other day!"

NaInCom woke up from sleep mode. "Huh? Oh, Dib, it looks like you have a splinter of some sort in your hand. You can get it out, right?" In the past three years, NaInCom was tranformed from a simple toylike device to a functioning laptop. These updates were added to the computer by Professor Membrane each year for Dib's birthday, along with another small thing. However, the Professor started coming home from work less and less, slowly forgetting about his family at home other than a monthly day off, and a call home once in a while.

"Of course I can, NaInCom. See?" Dib tried to pry out the shard of plate from his hand, but it wouldn't budge. "Eh, heheh... It'll come out on its own, I guess."

"I sure hope so. I'm just glad that your father tried that skin experiment on you a few months ago. That seems to be the only experiment that doesn't have bad side effects or wasn't created on-the-spot." The skin experiment was to see if the scientists could create skin that healed faster and didn't leave scars. Of course, the experiment had to be tested on Professor Membrane's only legal test subject. "But it only helps hide the beatings your mother gives you..."

"NaInCom, it's discipline! _All_ parents have to do it! Anyway, can you call up my dad? I've got some new evidence on those alien-ghost-bee things."

"Okay, I'm calling him up..." The computer took a few seconds to set up the call, and a secretary immediately picked up.

"This is Membrane Laboratories, who is this?"

"This is Dib Membrane, Professor Membrane's son."

"I'm sorry, but Professor Membrane doesn't have a son. He only has a daughter, as far as I'm told. Have a nice day."

"No, wait, I-" The secretary hung up. Dib sighed. "Why does everyone say that? Every secretary so far doesn't realize that my father _is_ my father!" Dib was quiet for a bit, then asked, "Could you call up Uncle, then?"

"Sure, Dib." 'Uncle' was really Dib's great-uncle, on his mother's side. Dib never heard anything about his father's side of the family. The call was picked up right away.

"Dib, is that you?" The voice sounded eldely and kind.

Dib cheered up. "Hi Uncle!"

"Hello! What sort of research do you have this time?"

"I've found out all sorts of stuff on those bee-ghost-aliens! For example..." Dib went on to explain all that he learned about the creatures that day.

"Great Scott, how did you possibly figure out that much in only one day? I would never be able to get that much research done, especially not at your age! Well, I've got to go take notes on all that, and I have some business to take care of having to do with that ridiculous ghost that's been haunting my neighbor's doghouse. I'll hear from you tomorrow with more data, I hope?"

"Of course! Bye, Uncle!"

"Good bye, Dib!" NaInCom hung up.

:~:~:

"Oh boy, he's been getting better at research every day!" Dib's great-uncle put the phone back on the table.

This man lives out in rural Maine. He owns a fairly small mansion, three floors plus an attic. He spends most of his time doing what most retired wealthy men do - hunting ghosts, searching the clear night skies for UFOs, running the biggest network of paranormal investigators in the world, and - Waitaminute, most retired wealthy men _don't_ do that.

Too bad for them.

This man, named Deangelo Rigby, enjoys his life very much. He considers running the Swollen Eyeball Network more of a hobby than an occupation. Before he was retired, he worked in various locations, doing many different things.

The one job he spent the most time with was helping create some new technology to help in paranormal investigation. This was what got him rich, but for a different purpose. The technology uses radiation to locate even the most well-hidden ghosts and demons. However, this device was used by the general public to heat up food from a distance, as a, "ridiculous portable microwave oven ray" as Mr. Rigby called it. He had prefered it if the device was used for its real purpose, but the microwave ray was what made him rich.

Mr. Rigby walked into his library and picked up one of his notebooks. This one was labeled _MISCELLANEOUS_. He flipped to the newest fresh page and wrote down the date, along with the header _Dib's Notes_. Underneath, he summerized all that Dib had said about the bee-alien-ghosts. After writing down every piece of information that the boy told him, the notes filled up almost two pages, front and back.

"Well, it's good to see that the boy has enthusiasm. It's about time that I found someone to take my place one day. He'll be a fine Leaderman one day... If he's still interested, that is."

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><p><strong>AN: I guess this could've been split into two short chapters, but I think you guys prefer one long update all at once instead of two small ones at different times.**

**So, did I think this was a good chapter? **

**...**

**I dunno, you tell me.**


	11. Of Stuffed Ghosts and Mothmen

**A/N: ...**

**Enjoy the chapter.**

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><p>Gaz was waiting by the front door. Her mom had ordered a new video game for her and it was supposed to come in the mail today. She called it a, "going two months without a new game" present. Once the mailman delivered the mail to the Membrane household, Gaz ran outside and picked up the game box-shaped package. It was on top of another, larger package, and on the top it said, <em>"To Dib"<em>.

Gaz ran back inside and opened up the new game. Mrs. Membrane went outside next to check if there was any more mail. She got the letters out of the mailbox. When she saw the package, she shouted, "Dib! Someone sent you a package!" She left it outside and tried to close the door. However, Dib ran downstairs and pulled the door open before it could fully close.

Once Dib got his package, he ran into his room to open it. NaInCom peered at it curiously. "Who sent you that package, Dib?"

"It says it's from... Maine! It must be from Uncle!" Dib tore at the box and reached inside for a letter. "Always read the letter first," the boy reminded himself.

_"Dear Dib,_

_How are you, my boy? Hopefully well. Think of this package as an early birthday gift. I know that I could have sent this two weeks or so later and hit your birthday right on the mark, but I wanted to give you this before you started preschool. And don't go complaining that you can't read this, I know you can read just fine._

_The first item in this package is a black trench coat. Nice, isn't it? Now, the material that it's made out of is specially designed. The fabric was one of my inventions that I never shared with the public. What makes it so special is that the fabric grows with you, so you'll never need to replace it. I'm sure it'll look great on you._

_Next, underneath the coat, is a stuffed animal. I'm not sure how much you will like it, but I thought it was cute._

_At the very bottom, there is a slip of paper, with a registration code on it. I want you to enter that code into the login of this website:_ **[WEBSITE CLASSIFIED]**

_There will be instructions on the website from that point on, but I must warn you: you can't let anyone know about this website. Okay? I know you're a trustworthy young lad, I don't think you'd tell anyone._

_That's all that is in there. I hope you like it. Happy Early 5th Birthday!_

_~Uncle"_

Dib pulled out the trench coat after he finished reading the letter. It was almost just his size, a little on the big side. But as soon as he put it on, it seemed to fit around him perfectly. "Cool! Where's that stuffed animal Uncle talked about?"

Dib looked into the box to find a whitish ghost with black button eyes. It looked a little used, but had no stains or rips in it. As Dib picked it up, NaInCom cooed, "Aw, that's one of the cutest things I've ever seen..." Dib smiled. He wasn't sure of what to name it, so he left it without a name for now.

At the bottom of the box, like Uncle said, was a slip of paper. "NaInCom, can you open up the Internet for me?"

"Of course." Dib typed in the URL that Uncle gave him, and the login box popped up. The boy read the code on the slip of paper.

M07H144N

Dib typed in the code, and the website moved on to a new page.

Welcome, Agent Mothman!

"Huh? Agent? What kind of website is this?" As Dib found, there was an introduction and set of rules further down the page.

The website was the main section of the Swollen Eyeball Network, a network of paranormal investigators. Here, these Agents shared information that they have gathered with others.

Dib was utterly amazed. "Wow! I didn't know that this website even existed! Hm, I guess they're able to hide it well... No wonder Uncle wants me to keep it a secret."

"So, Dib, would you like to start putting your research onto your account?"

"Not yet. I have to thank Uncle first!"

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><p><strong>AN: (And by [WEBSITE CLASSIFIED], I mean that you can't even type a _fake_ URL into a story. *facepalm*)**

**Aw... What a cute, sappy chapter.**

**Don't worry, the next chapter will be fun. And by fun, I mean fun for me as I imagine all the Dib-fans who are going to die a little bit inside.**

**Don't get me wrong, Dib's one of my favorite characters, but some of these fans... For any fandom, really, there are always crazy fangirls/fanboys.**

**Eh, but I'm getting off-topic. Did you think this chapter was horribly sappy, or nicely cute?**


	12. Two New Friends, One Less Appendage

**A/N: Yep... New chapters come fast with this story.**

**This chapter will be so much fun to write! Enjoy!**

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><p>"Dib, you little brat! Wake up <em>now<em>!" Dib was already awake this morning, like every morning. He was on the roof, searching for signs of incoming aliens. His mother's screams were loud enough to be heard from the roof, as long as he left a window open. He quickly clambered into his room and got ready for his first day of preschool. He grabbed his little ghost toy and ran downstairs.

He was downstairs in six minutes, but that wasn't fast enough for his mom. "What possibly took you so long? That was a ridiculous amount of time! That's it, no breakfast for you today! That'll teach you to hurry up."

The boy sighed and sat down on the living room couch. He opened up NaInCom and played around for a bit. Half an hour later, Gaz came downstairs, playing her brand new GameSlave Color. "Oh, good morning, Gazlene! Here, I made waffles for breakfast!" The little girl grunted in an annoyed tone, and sat down at the kitchen table. Dib watched as Gaz slowly ate her breakfast. Yesterday, they didn't leave that much scraps for him to eat, and Dib never gets lunch.

Once Gaz finished her breakfast, she walked into the living room and stood in front of Dib. When he didn't get up right away, Gaz yanked on his leg so he fell out of his seat. She sat where the boy was sitting a moment ago. Dib grabbed his toy and went over to the front door to wait to go to preschool. He left NaInCom on the couch next to where he was sitting; the laptop was too big for him to carry around with him all day.

His mom noticed him standing by the door. "Dib? What do you think you're doing with that stupid toy of yours?"

"I'm going to bring it with me. Why?"

"Oh, _no no no_. Do you want to look like a baby in public? You are not bringing that sh*t-stuffed sack to preschool, you got that? You already look ridiculous, with your coat and that tuft of hair sticking up."

"But it won't stay down! It keeps popping back up!" And it was true; Dib tried all the previous week to get that one bit of hair, that seemed to come out of nowhere, down in a normal position.

"Well, that's too bad." With those words, Mrs. Membrane snatched the stuffed animal and tossed it up on top of the refrigerator, where the young boy couldn't reach. "Come on, you little c*nt. Time for preschool."

"Okay." Dib forlornly followed his mother out the door.

:~:~:

A hyperactive teacher welcomed the new preschoolers. "Welcome to PerSkool, children! My name is Miss Fondell! We're gonna have a _blast_ this year!"

Dib tried to pick a seat near a few kids, but not too many. Next to him was a boy with dirty blond hair and brown eyes, and behind him was a girl with lightish purple hair in tiny pigtails. Her teeth were a little crooked. The teacher continued talking. "Today we're gonna learn about each other! To start, I want you all to introduce yourselves to the kids around you. Okay? Go ahead, now!"

The boy went first. "H-hi... My name is Louie. What's yours?"

"My name is Dib."

The girl behind him spoke up. "Dib? That's a wierd name."

Dib was slightly offended by this. "Yeah, so? I'm sure there are weirder names out there! What's yours, anyway?"

The girl looked a bit shocked by Dib's reaction. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it in a bad way. My name's Gretchen."

Dib felt a little bad for snapping back at her. "Oh, sorry. It's just..." Dib didn't continue.

It was Louie's turn to comment. "It's just what?"

"Well, my mom doesn't really like my name. My dad picked it out."

"Oh," both children responded. Louie continued. "So... What do you like to do? I like figuring out stuff. Like how adults can read such _huge_ books, especially without pictures in them!"

"Yeah, it must be hard to do," Gretchen replied. "How do the adults not get bored?"

"Maybe, the book's about something interesting," Dib stated, "like my Uncle; he has a whole collection of huge books! He said they're all about different things that he likes, and that he read all of the books."

"What does your uncle like?" Louie asked.

"Oh, he likes stuff like ghosts and aliens and... Stuff."

"Really?" Gretchen questioned. "What about you? Do you like that stuff?"

"Yeah, actually. Right now I'm-"

Dib was cut off by Miss Fondell. "Okay, class, time to learn the class rules! You can talk to your new buddies soon!"

:~:~:

By the end of the day, Dib, Louie, and Gretchen became good friends. Louie also happened to find interest in the paranormal, and Gretchen enjoyed learning about the various creatures the two boys discussed. Outside of the PerSkool building, parents waiting for their children chit-chatted. Louie's parents were the first ones there, wanting to make sure that they got their boy on time. Gretchen's parents were there by the time most of the parents were, a moment or two before the kids were let out. Dib's mom, however, wasn't there when Dib got out. Louie's parents decided to wait with him, and the two boys played around while they waited.

Finally, Mrs. Membrane got to the building an hour later, dragging along Gaz, whose face was glued to her GameSlave Color's screen. Wanting to get home right away, she grabbed Dib by the collar of his coat and started to drag him to the car. Before she could get far enough, Louie's parents came up to her and introduced themselves. Before Mrs. Membrane knew it, they were going on about how Dib was an adorable and kind young boy, what the family must be like, etc. The one thing that stuck in the woman's ears was how the two boys shared an interest in what Louie's parents called "silly ghosts and goblins". Mrs. Membrane promptly stated that they had somewhere to be soon, and shoved Dib and Gaz into the car.

Once inside, Eleanor harshly scolded, "Were you talking about that retarded paranormal garbage with that boy, Dib?"

Dib didn't answer, he was too shocked by his mother's anger. She continued to shout at him. "Dib, you're making yourself look like a creep or a freak. Or _both_! And that'll make the entire family seem like freaks! Do you want that, you little brat?"

Dib answered this time. "No... But Louie's parents were nice, they wouldn't-"

"People _act_ nice to others when they first meet a person, okay? That family will let everyone know that you're a freak, and I'll be a freak by bringing you into existence! When we get home, Dib, I have something to show you."

Once the family got home, Mrs. Membrane brought Dib into her room. Gaz walked into the living room to start up her game. Upstairs, in her mother's hand, she had a fairly small, yet very sharp, kitchen knife. "Mom, what did you want to show me?"

Dib's mother grabbed his left hand and spread out his fingers on her dresser. "This is to show you that you _cannot_ talk about that paranormal stuff with other people." She slammed the knife down on the boy's middle finger.

Downstairs, Gaz was playing a first-person shooter, Zombie Killjoy, in an online tournament, so the scream from upstairs blended with the screams in the video game, so the girl couldn't hear the difference.

Back upstairs, Dib was frantically searching for something to use as a bandage to cover up the bleeding stump where his finger once was. He ended up running into the kitchen and grabbing the first-aid kit, using the supplies in there. Before Dib could do anything else, his mom grabbed him by the coat and shoved him into his room, along with his toy ghost and NaInCom.

"You aren't allowed out of there until you have to go to school tomorrow!" Mrs. Membrane shouted.

"B-but what about dinner?" the child feebly asked.

In response, his mom tossed Dib's severed finger into his room. "That's all you're getting for the next two days." Then she slammed the door shut.

NaInCom couldn't stand it. "What is _wrong_ with that woman? She shouldn't be taking care of children if she does stuff like _that_! Dib, are you okay?"

Dib hugged his ghost toy. "O-of course, NaInCom. It's discipline, it's only discipline, parents are _supposed_ to do that..."

That night, Dib had horrible nightmares, filled with demonic versions of all the people he had met in his life. These creatures haunted his dreams for many nights afterwards.

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><p><strong>AN: I told you that this would be fun to write. But I never said it would be fun to read, now did I?**

**This chapter proves that whenever something good happens in Dib's life, it has to be ruined.**

**So, did you like this chapter? Probably not, so flame and complain if you wish.**


	13. It Only Rhymes With Door Hinges

**A/N: So, I think the previouchapter was one of the most popular... **

**Anyway. New chapter, quick as always. Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>The next day, Dib ran into the PerSkool building, straight towards the water fountain. No food also meant no water, by Eleanor's standards. The boy quickly sat down in his seat, a tiny bit late. "Good morning, children!" Miss Fondell chirruped. "Today is going to be a fun day! We are going to..." Dib started to tune out from what the teacher was saying and started to drift into sleep. He was woken up by a shake on the shoulder. It was Louie.<p>

"Hello, Dib! I was wondering, why did you have to leave so quickly after-" The boy noticed Dib's poorly-bandaged left hand. "Whoa! What happened to your hand?"

"Uh... Eyum..." Dib remembered what his mother told him on the way to PerSkool. _If you tell anyone, and I mean ANYONE, about what really happened to your finger, then that finger won't be the only part of you cut off!_ "It was... I was searching for what I thought was a Sasquatch in the forest nearby, but it ended up being a bear. After running away, I tripped and fell on a snake, who bit my finger off. Luckily it wasn't poisonous..."

"Aw, that stinks. I guess that's the price to pay if we're ever gonna find anything."

"Yeah..." Dib trailed off into silence, and Louie followed. After a few seconds, they realized someone wasn't there. "Hey, where's Gretchen?"

They looked around, and found her halfheartedly giggling with the other girls. Louie called over there, "Hey, Gretchen!" and waved. She gave a nervous smile, and quickly excused herself from the clique that formed only that day.

Once she was at their table, she explained. "Nyeh, they never stop _talking_! And about _nothing_! Okay, my parents said that I have to make some friends that are girls yesterday, so I tried. But somehow I got pulled into that group of... _dummies_, and they won't let me talk to you guys! They say you're weird."

Louie was annoyed by what he heard. "Weird? What's so weird about us? And why couldn't those girls let you out? They're the weird ones!"

Gretchen continued. "Dib, they also said your head is big... I dunno why..."

It was Dib's turn to be frustrated. "What? My head is _not_ big! Is that the best they can come up with? What are they comparing it to?"

Gretchen, deep in thought, finally realized Dib had a bandage where his finger used to be. "Dib, what happened to your finger?" Dib told her the same story he told Louie. "Aw, did it hurt?"

"A little... Well, maybe a lot... But it's fine now."

Before any of them could say anything else, one of the girls shouted, "Hey Gretchen! What are you doing over there with the _weirdos_? Get over here!"

Gretchen whispered, "I'll see you guys after class, okay?" and ran back to the table she was sitting at before. Shortly afterwards, the two boys realized that Miss Fondell was still talking, so they decided to pay attention to what she was saying for once.

At the end of the day, Gretchen was waiting for Louie and Dib to come out. "Hey, you guys! I want you to meet my parents! They're really nice!" The boys followed her to a tall, muscular man and a frail-looking woman. "These are my parents. I also have a brother, but he's in the fourth grade right now, so he still has school. He says his teacher, Ms. Bitter or something like that, is really mean and ancient. He hopes she dies before I get her."

Her father scolded her. "Now Gretchen, I'm sure your brother was overreacting. The teacher can't be that bad. Tomas has only known the woman for two days!"

Dib was surprised. Gretchen's father didn't curse at her, or hit her, or anything. Maybe it was only mothers who did that? Gretchen started talking again. "My brother told me about a game, it's called roll-playing, where you pretend to be something you aren't and make up stories about it. They use fancy shaped dice; I think that's why it's called roll-playing. My brother says the game's for nerds, but I thought it sounded fun!"

Louie piped up. "But we don't have any fancy dice!"

After a bit of thought, Dib came up with a solution. "What if we just used stones? That could work, if we colored the sides or something."

Louie smacked his forehead. "Of course! Why didn't I think of that? Come on, you guys, let's go play!" Louie ran into the nearby playground, Dib and Gretchen close behind.

An hour later, Dib's mom finally came to pick him up. "Time to go, br- Dib. Your sister is waiting in the car; we have to pick up Castle Shredder today." Dib said goodbye to his friends and got in the car. Gaz was sitting next to him.

"You made me wait even longer than I had to to get this game, Dib," his sister whispered menacingly, "You will pay." Dib gulped.

After they picked up the game, the family drove home. Dib walked two steps out of the car before his mom picked him up. "Oh no, you aren't stepping one foot in this house outside of your room, you brat. You're still in trouble. And what was that ridiculous thing you were doing with those 'friends' of yours?"

"We were... _roll-playing_?" Dib mumbled, preparing himself for a slap. Surprisingly, none came. The boy was only tossed into his room.

NaInCom noticed Dib get thrown in. "Hello, Dib. How was your day?"

"Good." Dib talked about what happened, including the fact that he was able to sneak drinking some water. Unknown to them, Gaz was just outside the door and overheard. She quickly figured out a plan to get revenge on him, but it wasn't just tattling. Oh no, the girl had something _better_ in mind. She casually walked downstairs and grabbed an orange. She asked her mom to cut it in half for her, saying she wanted a snack. Once the orange was cut, she casually walked upstairs.

She knocked quietly on Dib's door. "Hey, Dib, are you hungry? I snuck something up for you."

Dib slowly opened the door, and saw the oranges. His mouth watered. "Gee, thanks Gaz, I didn't think you'd care enough to-"

Before Dib could finish, Gaz tackled the boy and pinned him down. "_This_ is for making me wait for Castle Shredder!" She squeezed the juice of the orange into Dib's eyes, making him screech in pain. "And _this_ is for sneaking a drink at PerSkool!" She shoved what was left of the oranges into Dib's eyes, getting various pieces of pulp stuck where Dib couldn't get them out.

Their mother heard the screaming and ran upstairs. "What the f*ck are you- Holy sh*t! Gaz, why are you doing that?"

Gaz smirked. "He snuck a drink of water at the PerSkool. I overheard him talking about it."

Mrs. Membrane sighed. "Okay, Gaz, you're getting the idea, but now I have to send Dib to the eye doctor. You need to learn to figure out punishments that will make the person beg for mercy, without being hospitalized. Let's go, Dib, before you're permanently blind."

"_Permanently_?" Dib whimpered. He ran as best as he could to the car, tripping twice. Each time, his mother yelled at him.

Once Dib was finished at the eye doctor's, he was stuck with large round-lensed glasses. He liked how they looked, but Mrs. Membrane thought they looked retarded. She didn't say that to any of the doctors or assistants' faces, though.

In his room once more, NaInCom was commenting Dib on his choice of glasses. "They suit you, and they match your outfit." The laptop noticed how Dib rapidly tapped his heel on the floor. "Is there something wrong?"

"Huh?" Dib looked down at his foot. "Oh, heheh... Um, it's nothing really... I kinda wshadntdnksumchwtr..." He ended his sentence with an incomprehensible murmur.

"What was that, Dib?"

"I-it's not important, okay? Hey, can I add some research to my SEN account?"

"Sure..." NaInCom secretly made a quick health scan of the child to make sure he wasn't getting sick. She didn't find any diseases, but a check of the contents of his organs showed... "Oh. Dib, do you happen to have to go to the bathroom?"

"Wh-what? No, of course not! Heheh, why would I have to do that?"

"I checked, there is no one eavesdropping on us."

"Um... Then yeah... Maybe a little..."

"Want me to make sure no one notices you leaving the room? For now, the coast is clear."

"Thanks, NaInCom." Dib rushed out of the room faster than what seemed possible, especially for someone who would now be tripping on their own shadow without his glasses.

NaInCom sighed. "Oh, humans... You treat each other so horribly, but you try to speak of world peace and such... If a person doesn't love their own child, then how can they make peace with all of the world, even their enemies?"

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><p><strong>AN: What an interesting, philosophical ending to this chapter.**

**So, did you think Gaz was a little harsh? I thought so. I'm just glad that she didn't use mashed potatoes.**


	14. The Return of the Professor

**A/N: Sorry about the long wait. Writer's Block.**

**But it's over now! Whoo!**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Gaz was sitting in the living room, playing video games as usual. However, as soon as the clock turned 6:55, she shut off her game. She searched for Dib, who was in his room. <em>Good, I won't have to shove him in there,<em> she thought with a smirk. She slammed and locked the door so Dib couldn't get out.

"It's almost seven already?" Dib asked through the door. "... I can come out to see him later, right?"

:~:~:

"Finally! I get to see my wonderful wife and daughter! Two days a month is getting ridiculous!" Professor Membrane climbed into his car, ready to go home for the night.

Once he pulled into the driveway, he checks the clock built into his new-and-improved goggles. He made these just last week. They had a new tinted lens, greenish in hue. He never really needed glasses, but it was laboratory safety regulations to wear goggles during experiments, so he's been wearing them almost constantly for the past three years.

Before he walks into his home, he waits for it to be exactly seven o'clock. It's been a ritual to wait until the exact time. As soon as he walks in, he is greeted by his daughter. "Hello, Daddy!"

"Hello, Gaz. How was your day today?" Professor Membrane picked up his daughter so she was at his eye (or, more accurately, goggle) level.

"Nothin' much." At this point, Mrs. Membrane ran into the living room.

"Oh hello, Clarence! It's been much too long for you to be taken away from your own family! Are you sure you can't work something out to get better hours?"

"I've told you before, Eleanor," the Professor replied with a kind smile. "They won't let me have any less hours. I'm the best scientist there, and they don't get anything done without me!"

Mrs. Membrane looked disappointed. "Okay... Well, get in the kitchen. It's time for dinner!"

The three of them went into the kitchen for a home-cooked dinner. It was a rare treat, saved only for when the Professor was home. In the quiet of eating dinner, they could hear some noises coming from upstairs. Professor Membrane couldn't tell what it was exactly, though. "Does anyone else hear that?"

"Hm?" his wife questioned through a mouth full of potatoes. She swallowed. "Oh, those noises upstairs? That's the dog, remember?"

"Oh yes, that's right." Professor Membrane remembers the puppy his wife and daughter bought two years back. They always keep the poor thing up in the spare bedroom while he's home; he was told the dog was very hostile towards anyone other than his wife. Even Gaz says the dog tried to bite her. Yet they still keep the creature, trying to give it a second chance at being affectionate towards others. The dog is fed the scraps off of the table, so he always leaves something on his plate, no matter how good the meal was.

Once everyone was finished, Eleanor poured all of the scraps into a paper bag and put it in the fridge to feed the 'dog' later. Professor Membrane sat in the living room, down on the couch. His wife and child sat next to him, and started up one of their games. As he watched them play, he couldn't help but think that he was forgetting something. Something important.

He always seems to have this feeling when he comes home lately. Actually, he's felt this way constantly once he came home after his daughter was born. He just pushed the feeling to the back of his mind, as always.

:~:~:

Once his father was in bed, Dib's bedroom door was unlocked. Mrs. Membrane stormed in, dumping the paper bag onto his desk. "You were too loud! Be glad I'm giving this to you now. I could've waited until tomorrow, but your father would be suspicious in the morning if he saw this was still in the fridge."

Once his mother left, Dib looked inside the bag. "_Whoo_! Lookit all the leftovers!" he shouted in a whisper, as to not disturb anyone.

That was the good thing about when his father came home. Even if Dib didn't get to see him, it still meant extra leftovers. More than the boy could eat!

... Well, maybe if Dib still had the stomach he was _born_ with, he'd be able to eat it all. But the artificial stomach he had was made of strong acid-proof material that didn't stretch or grow. It was still the same size as it was when it was first put in him. At the time, of course, it was very large, but now it was only slightly larger than average in comparison, unnoticable from the outside. But since it didn't stretch, it would empty itself as soon as it was overfilled. One bite too many could lead to feeling as if he never ate at all.

Luckily, all his other organs grew along with him at a normal rate. So did his teeth. Instead of falling out and being replaced, they stayed and grew with his bones.

Anyway, Dib put the leftover leftovers under his bed so his mother wouldn't find and take them. That left him something for breakfast in the morning. Sure, it would be warmish and kinda weird looking, but it was food, and Dib never got sick from it. One good thing about all of those experiments was that he didn't get sick with colds or fevers.

Once he was in bed, holding his stuffed ghost that still lacked a name, Dib started thinking.

About PerSkool: "I have two more months until school is over and I have to get ready for Elimentry Skool. What will it be like?"

About his dad: "Does he still remember me? Of course. But then why doesn't he say hello or come into my room?"

About the rest of his family: "Gretchen and Louie's parents and siblings don't act mean or anything towards each other. Is it really only how they act around others, or do they really act that way? And what does that phrase mean, '_I love you_'? I've never heard Mom or Dad or Gaz say that to me..."

With each thought, he hugged his little toy tighter and tighter, until one of his fingernails ripped a tiny hole in the fabric between the button eyes. "Uh oh." He got up and dug around for some thread and a needle, which he uses to mediocrely sew up his trench coat when it gets ripped. Miraculously, the rips seemingly disappear overnight on the coat.

As he sewed together the hole in his toy, Dib accidentally pricked himself. "Ouch! I gotta be more care- Huh?" A small drop of blue blood dripped onto the toy, almost right where the rip was. "Looks like your cut is bleeding. We'll just have to patch that up."

Once he was done sewing the opening, he looked around for the bandages that he always kept in his room. Once he got one, he stuck it on the ghost where the rip was. "There! All better!" He also put a bandage on his pricked finger so it wouldn't get infected.

"Hey, look! We almost kinda match! Heheh... I'm sorry for tearing that rip in you. It was an accident. You forgive me, right?"

The toy just stared with its button eyes.

"Of course you do! You understand. I would forgive you if you did the same thing. Anyway, I got a bandage on too. So we're even!"

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><p><strong>AN: So yeah. **

**The whole, 'pinpricking with a needle when sewing up the ghost' thing wasn't my idea, but a friend of mine's. Well, she inspired it at least. She read the story, and... I can safely say she liked it.**

**So, you guys finally glad I updated with a new chapter? Personally, I'm glad to be back.**


	15. The Truth is a Nightmare

**A/N: Next chapter. Here you go!**

* * *

><p>As soon as Dib had drifted off into sleep that night, he woke up again. It felt like he just woke from one of his forgettable normal nightmares. After he shoved his glasses onto his face, he looked around his room. It seemed... different. The walls were darker in color, and the various posters of paranormal creatures seemed to stare at him. The child wondered to himself, "When did the window get smashed?"<p>

The boy climbed out of bed and put on his trench coat. He couldn't seem to find his laptop. "NaInCom? Where are you?"

No one answered. Pretty unnerving for the boy, who had that computer as his constant guardian for what seemed like forever. Dib quickly searched under the covers for his ghost. Luckily, he found that immediately.

"Geez, did _you_ notice anything different here? Or where NaInCom went? That would be great to know." He was about to keep looking for the laptop when he heard something downstairs. Curious, Dib ran downstairs, gripping his stuffed animal. Once he got to the bottom of the steps, he could hear what the noise was more clearly.

"Dib! Get the f*ck downstairs! Someone wants to see you!" It was his mother's voice. The boy slowly crept into the room. But when he saw his mother, he was scared more than usual. "Oh, _there_ you are, Dib!"

His mother wasn't human.

She was hunched over slightly, on all fours. Her arms were stretched so her hands could reach the ground. Instead of using her hands, she had two more limbs. At the end of these were what looked like hands, but with extremely long, whiplike fingers. She had long fangs protruding from her mouth, and each hand and foot was covered in a purple dripping liquid that seemed to ooze from her wrists or ankles. Her eyes lacked pupils or irises, only to be blood red instead. Fear gripped the boy's heart. "Aaaahh... Your father wanted to see you. He's in his study upstairs. Now get out of my sight, you little brat!"

The boy gladly obliged. As Dib ran out of the kitchen, he felt her whip-like fingers lash out at him. Once upstairs, he sat down, leaning on a wall to catch his breath. "What... What in the world was _that_?" He didn't expect an answer, so when he heard some mumblings coming from what seemed to be his ghost toy, he started. Staring at the toy in disbelief, he waited for it to make another noise.

A muffled, "_Gttsbndjufmh!_" sounded from the toy. Dib realized that he had to remove the bandage still covering the toy's rip. He slowly pulled it off.

The rip looked the same as before he fell asleep, but the stitches seemed a little looser. "Heh, look at me, thinking my toy was _talking_ to me. Hahaha!" Dib laughed.

The rip shifted a bit, able to move from the loose stitching. "Well, you weren't just thinking it!" The rip moved with the voice that suddenly emanated from the toy.

"AAAGGHH! What- How- Why-" Dib was scared speechless. First his mother turned into some sort of monster, and now his stuffed animal was talking! What was going on?

"Calm down. I'm here to help. NaInCom is busy right now. Okay?"

"Okay..." After all that shock, Dib realized that he still had to see his father. He wasn't too sure if he wanted to.

The toy seemed to get impatient. "Well? Are we going to see your father or what?"

"Of course!" Dib ran over to the entrance to his father's study. When he looked inside, he couldn't see the Professor. "Dad? Are you there? Mom said that you wanted to see me..."

"Oh! Hello, son." The Professor's voice could be heard from a corner of the room, and a shadow of him, looking normal, could be seen. Dib slowly walked into the study. As he came closer to his father, however, he noticed that something wasn't quite right...

_Lab coats don't usually end in ghostlike fog, right?_

"It's been so long since I've seen you, my son." The Professor slowly turned around, revealing a long metal claw where one of his hands once were, and his goggles seemed to be his eyes. "Come here for a moment, I have a quick experiment that I need to test out on you..."

Dib ran out of the room as quickly as possible. He dashed into his own room, slamming and locking the door.

The ghost toy seemed slightly bemused. "Oh? You don't want to say hello to your sister?"

Dib was panicking. "No! I just want everyone to go back to being people! I don't want these monsters!"

"But those _are_ real people," the ghost responded. "Just on the inside. This is their personality. Your mother had whiplike fingers for abuse and treating her own child as a servant instead of a son. Your father has clawed hands; he cut up and tore apart his own son just for a science experiment. This is how they look on the inside."

"No! Mom and Dad both love me! Dad's only busy, and Mom is only disciplining me! They don't mean to hurt me!"

The toy sighed. "Believe what you want. This place you are in is the pure truth. Maybe, one day when you're older, you'll come back here and realize that this is what the world is like without all of the pretty decoration. Come on, it's time for bed."

Dib suddenly got very sleepy. He took off his trench coat and glasses, and climbed into bed. He fell asleep right away.

When he woke up the next morning, it was as if nothing had ever happened. The window wasn't smashed. The bandage was still on his toy. NaInCom was on his desk. "It... It was all a dream?" Dib asked himself. "But it was so real!"

NaInCom woke up after hearing Dib speak. "What dream?"

"Oh, it was nothing." Dib didn't really feel like talking about it.

Later that day, he told Louie and Gretchen about that dream. When he was finished, he only had one statement about it. Both of the friends agreed.

"It was wacky."

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><p><strong>AN: This chapter was fairly shorter than the others lately...**

**Oh well. Did you mind the slight shortness?**


	16. A Birthday Necklace

**A/N: Agh! Sorry this was so late, guys!**

**Okay, so the previous chapter... Some people liked it, some thought it could have been better. I'm not perfect, and I think my writing is improving every day. Sorry that it wasn't the greatest. **

**So, next chapter. Here you go!**

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><p>"Happy Fifth Birthday, Gazlene!" Mrs. Membrane took the birthday cake out of its hiding place behind the toaster. It was a small cake, but just the right size for three people. Gaz and her parents, that is. Professor Membrane always makes sure his day off in January always ends up on his daughter's birthday.<p>

So, of course, that meant Dib had to stay in his room the entire day. To get to Skool, he had to climb out his window and onto the bus. Same way back inside. However, while he was out, he was able to get something for his sister.

The money wasn't easy to get. Child labor laws generally prevent six-year-olds from working. He had been originally collecting the money for the fancy new alien handcuffs he found online. "But those could wait for later," he said to himself once he saw the gift.

It was a necklace. On it was a metal skull pendant. He thought that she would love it; she has been complaining lately about how her outfits were so girly. Dib used up every last penny he had collected.

He gift wrapped the necklace himself, using hand-decorated paper and the box that the necklace came in. When his kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Herzberger, saw him drawing the giftwrap, she commented on how detailed it was. Dib didn't draw very often, only when he needed to do so for school. But when he did, he always seemed to get complimented on it at Skool.

Dib never knew why, though. His mother always said that they looked, "Hideous!" or "Appalling!" or "Like a homosexual puked all over that paper!" or "As if a monkey threw its sh*t all over the sheet!" His sister tore up all the drawings Dib tried to show her. And, as we all know, he wasn't allowed to see his father.

"Well, she'll be glad to know she's _supposed_ to tear up this drawing!" Dib chirruped cheerfully to himself as he wrapped his present.

NaInCom was glad to see him enjoying himself. "I'm glad to see you're giving your sister a present for her birthday! Especially since she or your mother never gets you anything... I guess your father updating me every year counts as a present from him..." This year's update: the ability to actually see with as much ability as the average person. It was originally only able to scan and hear things. It can see now thanks to a camera that looks like a smaller version of a Portal core's eye. That certainly made Mrs. Membrane and Gaz more than a bit jealous. Leading to more angry "discipline".

Once Professor Membrane left for work later, Dib walked over to his sister holding the present. She looked at it, and then Dib, questioningly. "What the hell is _that_? You crumple up one of your stupid drawings?"

Dib ignored the insults and gave a wide smile. "It's a birthday present! Happy Birthday!"

Gaz quickly snatched the present out of Dib's hand. Dib still held his smile. "Stop smiling," she ordered. "You look retarded." Dib's smile got much smaller, but it didn't go away. She slowly tore at the wrapping paper to reveal a small black box. She stared at the box for a second, looked at Dib questioningly again, then returned her gaze to the box. She finally opened the box to reveal the necklace inside.

"Well? Do you like it?" Dib was bouncing with excitement. He couldn't wait to see his sister's reaction to the gift.

He wasn't expecting the reaction she gave.

She kicked Dib in the leg, took the necklace out of the box, and threw the box at the boy's head. She looked at the necklace. "Where did you get _this_? Out of the garbage?" She walked to her mother's room, dragging the necklace with her.

Dib watched her leave. "She... Didn't like it?" The boy trudged into his room, legs heavy with defeat (and the pain of getting kicked with Gaz's new steel-toed boots).

:~:~:

"Look at this sh*t your brother gave you! It's hideous! Why would he think you'd like this? He certainly didn't inherit his father's brain." Gaz's mother continued to go on and on about how retarded Dib was, and how she'd wish he'd never been born.

Personally, Gaz liked the necklace. But her mother would have never let her accept the gift happily, let alone wear it. After she had told her mother about what she did, her mother laughed. "Ah, hahaha! That's my little Gazlene! I'm proud of you. You're becoming a fine young girl. Just keep this up, okay? Don't be like your insane, stupid brother. He'll ruin our family reputation. So many times, he..." Gaz tuned out, thinking. She thought about how she wanted to make her mother happy.

And Gaz would. Her father may have visited her more often than he did Dib, but it still wasn't very often. And she certainly didn't want to be treated like her brother.

She did hate Dib though. How he had that dumb Aperture Science laptop, and he doesn't even realize all the similarities between that computer and one of the cores! Its eye is basically Wheatly's with a feminine touch! It even has the Aperture Labs symbol on the power button! Gaz had stolen the laptop from him enough times to know. Why did that laptop have all that stuff on it anyway? Dib wasn't the Portal fan...

And Dib's _voice_! It had always filled Gaz with a terrible rage! It still does! He never stops talking, either! About aliens and ghosts and Bigfeet and vampires and that family of slugs who lived nearby their house!

But sometimes, she just wanted someone to play her videogames with when Mrs. Membrane was too busy on the phone. She would, obviously, beat him at any game they played if they ever played any. And his reward if if he ever beat Gaz while she wasn't looking? A good beating. And when Gaz won? A slap to the face or a kick to the knee. Dib would still fear and respect her, but maybe he would shut up for a bit if he was concentrating on a game.

And she really _did_ like that necklace. But to make her mom happy, she would never wear it.

Gaz tuned back into her mother's rant. "... That boy could really be punished for thinking you would be stupid enough to love him over a dumb necklace! _Aha_! I got it!" With that, Gaz's mother ran out of the room.

Gaz could hear her shouting. "Dib, you little c*nt! Get over here!" She could hear Dib give out a little yelp, and being dragged into his room.

_What does Mom want with him now?_ Her mom stormed downstairs, grabbed something from the silverware drawer, and came back up.

She continued to shout. "Gaz showed me that ridiculous gift you gave her! What do you think she is, worthless enough for that piece of sh*t?" Gaz heard a somewhat loud SHIPLUD, and Dib screamed.

_What happened? Why did he scream?_ When Gaz tried to go see what happened, her mother stopped her at the door to Dib's bedroom. She had what looked like blue paint on her hands.

"He's punished right now. You aren't allowed to see him."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: You guys can guess what happened.**

**Anyway, my friend Poodlebrain started an RP on her not-so-popular (but fun anyways) forum. The RP is about anything, but you can only use your OCs. Wanna join?**

forum** (dot)** fanfiction** (dot) **net** (slash) **forum** (slash) **The_Most_Insane_Forum_in_the_World** (slash) **103533** (slash)**

**Now that the advertising's out of the way... How was the chapter?**


	17. A Bunch of Blotches, Two Cups of Water

**A/N: Here's the new chapter! This one's a long one!**

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><p>"Nobody'll notice, NaInCom. They didn't notice last time!" Dib finished wrapping a clean bandage around the stub where his right ring finger used to be.<p>

"Well, now that I can really _see_ it, I don't know how anyone was able to ignore it last year!"

"It'll be fine! Quit worrying! If anyone asks, it was a snake bite!" Dib grabbed his backpack (given to him on his sixth birthday from Uncle), stuffed NaInCom inside, and ran downstairs. He didn't bother going into the kitchen; he was told that he wouldn't be allowed outside of his room or Skool for the rest of the week. He waited right by the front door.

"Dib, you need to get down here much earlier! Just because you're grounded doesn't mean you waste your time!" His mother shoved him out the door and into the car. "_Ugh_! Next year, you're taking the bus." Dib wouldn't mind taking the bus, he already had to half the time: Mrs. Membrane often forgot to take Dib to Skool after dropping off Gaz at PerSkool.

Once he was at Skool, he looked around for Louie. He was standing by the doors, waiting. "Hey Dib!"

Dib ran up to his friend. "Hey, Louie. Anything new?"

"Not much. Did your sister like her present?"

Dib paused for a moment, thinking of an answer. "A little. She said she wouldn't wear it often, though."

"Oh well. Hey, have you seen those girls that Gretchen hangs out with now?"

"A bit... Why? Something bad?"

"Yeah! Those girls are all really mean, calling people ugly and stuff! I even think they're getting to Gretchen!"

"But... Gretchen would never do that..."

"I _saw_ it! They were all making fun of that kid with the grey hair and wrinkles, calling him Old Kid! Sounds pretty mean to me!"

"I... I don't know, Louie..." Dib still wasn't convinced. "Gretchen wouldn't do that, even if it was just to fit in with the other girls. My mom has a weird name for mean girls... She calls them... _Blotches_, I think. Gretchen isn't a blotch."

"I saw it, Dib! They're _all_ blotches!" Almost immediately after Louie shouted that, that very group of girls walked up.

A snobby-looking blonde girl with squinty eyes started in a mocking tone. "Blotches? What is that? A new stupid _nerd_ word?"

A girl with dark blue hair, also squinting, continued. "I bet it means who their crush is! Isn't it?"

Dib was about to explain where he heard it and what it meant, but he was interrupted by a girl with green pigtails. "I bet I know who Dib's 'blotch' is!"

The blonde asked, "Well, who is it then?"

"It's _Gretchen_!" the green-haired girl answered. "It is, right? Huh? It is! He's too embarrassed to speak!" All three of them started laughing.

In the back of the trio of girls, Gretchen was watching the entire thing. She was blushing madly. She whispered, "Hey, maybe we shouldn't be making fun of them..." The three turned to face Gretchen. They didn't say a word. They only glared at her. "N-nevermind! Continue!"

The dark-blue haired girl wasn't satisfied. She whispered into Gretchen's ear. "Why don't you make fun of those nerds? It's not like you _like_ them or anything, right?"

Gretchen turned to the boys. "Well... Well... That would be stupid! You guys liking _me_! As if! You're both too nerdy to even be anywhere near us! Let's go, girls." All four of them walked off.

Dib was speechless. Louie only got angry. "See? I told you! Gretchen's as much of a blotch as the others! And not that stupid definition they randomly made up! Who needs them anyway? Come on, Dib. Let's go." Louie started to storm off. When he noticed Dib wasn't following, he ran back. "Dib, come on! Let's _go_! We don't need stupid Gretchen! Let her be a blotch with her new blotchy friends!" He shouted this last sentence in the girls' direction to emphasize his point. Louie stormed off again.

Dib waited a bit longer, then followed Louie. "Hey, Louie, did you see Gretchen blush when that girl said-"

Louie cut him off. "Look, we aren't going to talk about them anymore. We're done with them. Okay?" Louie didn't wait for a response. But he did notice Dib's newly bandaged hand. "What happened this time?"

"Snake bite. Not that important."

"Oh. Well, at least your other hand is completely healed." And it was. Where the stump where Dib's first cut off finger used to be was almost nothing at all. Just a little extra spacing between his pointer and ring finger. You couldn't even tell he had a finger there once.

"Yeah... I guess that's good."

:~:~:

At the end of the day, around lunch, Gretchen was with her friends again. The blonde was speaking. "... And then you saw the look on his face! Gretchen, I have to say, you did pretty well there."

Gretchen sighed. "Thanks..." Gretchen hadn't been happy all day after that. She wanted to see the two boys after Skool, to take a break from her clique, but that wasn't happening anytime soon. Louie had been really angry, and they were mostly making fun of Dib anyway.

And Dib... Why did they always want to pick on him? He wasn't mean to anyone, not that she'd seen, at least. He never seemed to get angry at anyone. And with what happens to him at home...

Yes, Gretchen _had_ seen how his mother and sister treated Dib. During the summer, she was going to his house to ask if she could play. Her brother walked her over and made sure she was safe. She rang the doorbell, but nothing happened. She could hear someone scampering towards the door, then a clamor of feet, a small yelp, and a crash into a wall. Dib's mom had opened the door.

"Why hello there, um... I'm afraid to say, but I don't recall your name."

Gretchen answered. "Hi! My name is Gretchen, and this is my older brother. Would you mind if Dib could come over to my house to play?" She gave a big smile, showing a few teeth that were out of place.

"I'm sorry, Gretchen. Dib's busy right now, he's being punished. He's not allowed outside for the rest of the week, unless it rains. Then he _has_ to stay outside."

"Aw... Then could I come in to get a glass of water? It's really hot out here."

"Oh, sure, that's fine! Dib, could you get Gretchen here a glass of water? And one for her brother, if he doesn't mind."

Gretchen's brother answered, "Thank you, that would be great."

Gretchen walked inside to get her and her brother's water. He stayed outside. Mrs. Membrane looked over at Dib; she didn't realize Gretchen was there. "Dib! Get up! I said for you to get your friend and her brother some water! How did you even make friends, anyway? I'm surprised that your dumb crazy 'interests' haven't scared everyone away!"

Dib quickly got up and poured water into two cups. He didn't realize Gretchen was there either. His mom continued to yell. "That isn't enough! What are you, some retard? It's summer out there! Although I doubt you've noticed, since you spend all that time in your room being antisocial on your dumb computer!"

Dib filled the cups to the brim, so that some splashed out and left a puddle on the ground. As he was about to carry the water to the door, he slipped on the puddle he left behind, spilling all the water and getting some on his mom's legs.

Mrs. Membrane was screeching at the top of her lungs now. "_Dib_! You f*cking retard! What the hell is _wrong_ with you? Clean that up and get some more water now! Or do you want to have your punishment stretched to the rest of the month instead?"

Dib quickly did what he was told. As he handed off the glasses of water to his mom, she shoved him with her foot to the back of the room. He was left dazed for a few seconds, but got up as quickly as he could. That's when he noticed Gretchen watching the whole thing. His eyes grew wide, and he motioned her towards the door urgently. She quickly got to the doorstep as soon as Dib's mom opened the door.

"I'm sorry for the delay, but Dib accidentally spilt some of the water."

"It's fine, thank you," Gretchen's brother replied. "It sounded like there was screaming back there. Is everything okay?"

"Oh, it's just the television, I'm sorry. Now, run off, you two, I'm sure your parents are waiting for you!" Right before Mrs. Membrane closed the door, Dib mouthed three words.

_Don't tell anyone._

She never did.

One of the girls snapped her back into reality. "Hey, Gretchen, you okay? Your parents are waiting for you."

"Huh? Oh, okay. Bye guys!" Gretchen waved as she skipped over to her parents, glad to see her family after a long day.

But then she thinks to herself, _I'm sure Dib doesn't want to see his family after a long day._ She looks over to where the Skool bus is waiting for the last kids. She watches as Dib climbs on last, a forlorn look in his face.

_Has Dib ever been hugged before?_ With this thought, as she climbs into the car, she blushes slightly.

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><p><strong>AN: Hm, we get to see Gretchen's side today. Interesting, right?**

**Those three girls were all Skoolchildren from the show! Can you name them all?**


	18. Gossip and Police Calls

**A/N: Late again! And this one's so short compared to the other ones lately! **

**Well, it's something. Enjoy.**

**Oh yeah! Those three girls? The blonde was Jessica, the dark-blue haired one was Letty, and the green haired one was Peyoopi. All background characters from the show.**

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><p>"So... What's <em>your<em> biggest secret, Gretchen?"

The clique was having a slumber party, at Jessica's house. They had just finished dinner, and had started gossiping and such. You know, girls.

"Well, it was a few years ago..." Gretchen trailed off, unsure if she wanted to finish.

Letty encouraged her to continue. "Go on! Was it when we were in first grade?"

"No... It was the summer before kindergarten."

The girls simultaneously "Ooooh..."ed.

"What? It's the summer before kindergarten!" Gretchen sighs. "Whatever. So, I was doing over to see if I could play with Dib-"

"Oh right," Peyoopi interrupted. "You were still hanging out with those nerds. At least Louie moved away."

Gretchen remembered when Louie moved in the second grade, almost a year ago. His parents said it was because they were worried that their son would be too interested in "those magical animal-things" to concentrate on important things, like religion.

"Yeah, well... I asked his mom if I could play, but she said no. I forget exactly why. But, I asked if I could have some water. She said yes, and told Dib to get it. I was going to take it from him, so I went inside. They didn't notice I was in there when I saw..." Gretchen paused, again unsure if she should continue. Something in her head told her to shut up, but...

Jessica was getting excited now. "_What_? What did you see?"

"Dib's mom was being all abusive to him. She hit him and cursed at him, punishing him for the simplest thing."

"Whoa..." All three girls were shocked.

Letty spoke up. "So that's why Dib is such a freak! He gets beat up by his own mother!"

"Yeah, and when he noticed I was there, he mouthed that..." Gretchen remembered why she didn't think telling her friends was a good idea. "That I can't tell anyone."

"Well, it's too late now!" Peyoopi chirruped. The other two girls giggled.

Gretchen felt a sense of impending doom.

:~:~:

"Dib! Get over here, you little c*nt!" Mrs. Membrane had heard all about the "rumors" that have been spreading around for the past week.

Dib came down from his room, arguing with his toy ghost about another nightmare. "No, that _isn't_ why Gaz did that that time. She was just-" He saw his mother, holding a lighter. "What's that for, Mom?"

"Dib, why have I been hearing rumors about me being a 'bad mother'?"

"What?" Lately, people had been giving him more pitying looks than annoyed ones. Dib didn't realize how and if these two things were connected.

Mrs. Membrane suddenly turned hostile. "Who did you tell? You _had_ to have told _someone_!"

Dib only became confused. "Told someone what? What are you talking about?"

"The rumors! You told someone!"

"_What_?"

Dib's mother held out her hand. "Give me that stupid stuffed animal of yours. Don't you think you're a little too old for that?"

"But he still thinks you should all burn in a fire! I need to convince him otherwise!"

"Give me that retarded toy!" Eleanor snatched the toy out of Dib's hands. "'Burn in a fire', huh?" She turned on the lighter.

"_No_!" As soon as the flame touched the toy's fabric, Dib snatched the toy back. He burned a bit of his hand in the process.

Before his mom could reclaim the toy, a knock was heard on the door. "Open up! This is the police! We mean no harm unless necessary!"

"Sh*t!" Mrs. Membrane picked up Dib by the coat and shoved him into the cabinet under the sink. She quickly opened the door for the police.

The police officer was of average height and weight. "Thank you, ma'am. We only have a few questions to ask you about some reports that suddenly surged our office in the past week."

Mrs. Membrane was the image of calm. "Oh, that's fine. Please, sit down."

"Okay. There have been many calls saying that you have been abusing your son. Is that true?"

Eleanor laughed. "_Son_? You do know this is the Membrane household, right? Have you ever heard Professor Membrane saying he has a son?"

The officer stayed serious. "No, but you two could be hiding the abused child."

"Officer, I can assure you, I do not have a son in this household or anywher-" She was interrupted by a voice coming from underneath the sink.

"_No_! All that was _discipline_! She didn't cut off my fingers out of hatred!"

The police officer stared at Eleanor. "'Not in this household or anywhere', huh?" He got up and looked under the sink. Inside, he saw a boy of nine years of age, with glasses and a small scythe of hair sticking out of his slightly large head.

The boy looked fearfully at the officer. "_Come on_! You can't possibly believe him, can you?" He held up his stuffed animal. "Discipline! Everybody gets punished like that! ... Right?"

The officer pulled out his walkie-talkie. "All those calls are true, get backup just in case." He looked at the boy. "Don't worry. You won't have to worry about this ridiculous 'discipline' anymore."

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><p><strong>AN: _Cliiiffhanger, hanging from a cliiiiiiff!_**

**... And that's why this chapter is not the best!**

**So, big surprise! The police found out! Oh no! Is Eleanor going to get arrested?**

**You'll just have to wait! Yay! **

**... Patience is a virtue.**


	19. Open Your Eyes!

**A/N: Wait no longer! The new chapter is here!**

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><p>Gaz was upstairs, in her room playing her brand new Game Slave. She got it for her eighth birthday. The skull necklace she got three years ago was sitting on her dresser, where her mother tossed it after she saw it. Gaz never touched it.<p>

Downstairs, she knew someone came over, but didn't bother to check who it was. They weren't very loud, especially when one wears headphones. The soundtrack in the game Gaz was playing was of a complicated 8-bit chiptune style, and very engrossing to the girl.

Suddenly, there was a loud bang. Gaz removed her headphones. _What was that?_

Shouting could be heard, coming from the kitchen. Another crash, from the front of the house. More shouting. A few curses, and similar commotion. It sounded as if the source was slowly making its way towards the front door. The noise grew fainter, and a slam could be heard. Then a very familiar sound met the gamer's ears.

Gunshots.

Gaz ran downstairs, wondering what game her mother was playing that had such realistic sound effects. Downstairs, her mother was nowhere to be seen. Her brother was watching something at the window, wide-eyed. "Dib, what are you looking at?"

"I... I don't know."

Gaz didn't want to play around. She looked through the window herself. "What do you mean you don't-" She cut herself off.

Outside, she could see her mother, surrounded by policemen. A few bodies, limp and unmoving, were scattered nearby. They all were bleeding from one or two small, circular holes. Most bodies were of police officers. Some were of regular people: misfires.

Gaz didn't get it, and really didn't want to. But she had to ask. "Why is Mom surrounded by the police?"

"The police were going to put her in jail for what they called 'abuse'. Mom said she wasn't going to let them. Then this happened." More gunshots could be heard.

Gaz shut her eyes. "Nope."

"Nope what?"

"I don't believe it. I'm not going to. She isn't about to be arrested, and she isn't killing anyone right now." The gunshots continued.

"Gaz, you just saw it. It's happening right now. I don't want to watch this either, but I want to make sure Mom doesn't die or something. Open your eyes."

"I'm not going to open my eyes until this stupid thing stops and Mom is in here, just playing video games as always."

A loud thud could be heard, followed by a slam. Gaz still didn't open her eyes. A police siren could be heard, fading into the distance.

A police officer opened the door. "Are you two the only ones here?"

Dib answered. "Yes. What happened?"

The officer sighed. "I'll explain on the way there. Come, follow me." Dib followed, grabbing Gaz's hand to bring her along.

:~:~:

"So you guys are going to _kill_ her? That isn't fair!" Dib was sitting in the police office with Gaz and the police officer, waiting for Professor Membrane to pick the two children up. Gaz still hadn't opened her eyes.

The police officer answered. "Young boy, your mother killed over a _dozen people_. It's actually unfair for all the other people who were killed. Why, _you're_ the child that was abused! Why are you defending her?"

Dib grew frustrated with the officer's heartlessness. "Because she's my mom, and it was only discipline! If you never tried to take her in the first place, none of those people would have died! We would all be fine! You would be patrolling the streets for _real_ crime, and my sister and I would be at home doing what we were doing before!"

"Look, we were getting three calls an hour about your mother's 'discipline'. Just, please, it was for your good. That sort of thing isn't discipline anyway. I mean, really, she stuffed you in a drawer!"

"She was protecting me from _you_!" Dib's voice went from irate to melancholy. He hugged his knees. "I just want to go home, and for my family to be happy. If what she did to me made her happy, then I don't mind. Now everyone's going to be sad." He looked directly at the officer. "And it's your fault."

The police officer sighed. He was about to say something when Professor Membrane walked in. "What is all of this nonsense? Abuse, killings, me having a _son_?"

The officer answered. "Mr. Professor Membrane, sir. Come with me." They went into a separate room, leaving the two children inside.

Gaz spoke up for the first time since they arrived. She didn't open her eyes, though. "This isn't happening. None of it did. You're all insane."

"Gaz, stop denying all this! This is happening! Open your eyes!"

Gaz grabbed Dib by the front of his shirt. "_Fine_. This is happening. But there is one thing you aren't realizing. This is _all your fault_."

Dib's eyes widened in shock. "_What_?"

"If _you_ weren't around, Mom would have no reason to abuse you. She wouldn't have been arrested. She wouldn't have killed all those people. She wouldn't have been sentenced to death. We would all be fine! But no! You just _have_ to exist! Being all _annoying_, and _stupid_, and ending up getting Mom and all those people _killed_! No one will look at our family the same way again! And it's all _YOUR_fault!" She pushed Dib onto the floor, where she jumped down and kicked him in the head once, and stormed out of the office.

Dib watched her as she left. That one explanation, from his sister's point of view, made him realize something. He got up, and knocked on the door leading to the room where the officer and his father were. When the officer opened the door, he asked a question. "Can I take Mom's place?"

The question confused the officer. "Huh?"

"Could you let Mom go, and in place of her, take me instead? I think my sister and my mom would both be happier if I were to go than if Mom was. I'll head straight over to where you're keeping her and wait there if you like." The boy had a smile on his face, but his voice and eyes didn't reflect it. "_Please_? I only want my family to be happy. Besides, since Mom said that I would never get to that 'Heaven' place, she wouldn't have to see me again, even after she dies, and she'll be even happier!"

"No, I'm sorry, but your mom is the only one that can take her punishment. If she doesn't, then she'll never learn. I don't think that you really want to do it anyway."

Dib's forced smile had fallen. "Oh. Well, okay. I'm just going to go home. I need to make sure my sister got there safely."

But, to be absolutely truthful, Dib wanted more than anything to avoid going home to his sister. But he had to make sure she was safe, and to try to cheer her up.

On his way home, he passed by Gretchen. She noticed and tried to call to him. "Hey! Dib! Haven't seen you in a while, huh?"

Dib turned around. "Oh. Hello. Look, I've got to get home. I need to make sure my sister's there." He starts to get going.

"Can you wait just one second? I have something to tell you..."

"Okay." Turning around again, he asks, "What do you want to tell me?"

"Um... Do you remember, that summer, the one before kindergarten..."

"Yeah? What does _that_ have to do with anything?"

"Well, when I saw you get beat up... By your mo-"

Dib interrupted, not wanting to talk anymore about his mother. "Well, it's _not_ going to happen anymore, okay? The police are going to kill her, and she and my sister are blaming _me_. I couldn't even make them use me in her place. So, I've got to go. I'm sure my sister is waiting."

"_Wait_! Didn't you wonder how enough people found out to tell the police?"

"_Fine_. Let's see what you have to say."

"W-well, a week ago, I had a sleepover, and me and my friends-"

"'My friends and I', you mean." Dib curtly interrupted.

"Y-yeah. We, uh, we were sharing secrets... And I... It kinda... I kinda told them what happened that day."

Dib's eye twitched, and he clenched his fists. "So, _you're_ the one who started that rumor. Okay. Next time I have the chance to ruin your family, I'll take it, just to see how _you_ like it." With that, he stormed off, not listening to anything else Gretchen had to say.

"B-but I..." He was out of sight. "I wanted to ask if I could make up for it..." She sighed. "I guess it _wasn't_ worth it to get rid of my friends..."

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><p><strong>AN: Sadness! Depressing-ness! Made-up words!**

**Anyway, it seems like Eleanor went out in quite a fury. But she isn't dead just yet!**

**Next up: the funeral! Whoo!**


	20. The Funeral of Eleanor Rigby

**A/N: Ugh! Not a single update in four days! So sorry! Here, take this, quickly!**

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><p>"... And may she rest in peace. Amen." Father Makenzie finished off the prayer.<p>

The Rigby family repeated. "Amen."

The priest continued. "Now, if anyone would like to say a word on her behalf..."

Deangelo Rigby spoke up. "I'll go first." He walked up to the front of the church.

"Now, we all know Eleanor was a great niece, or cousin, or friend, or however she was related to you all. She was fun to be around, quick with a joke or word of support. And she certainly knew her way around a video game." A few people listening smiled.

"But we all know the reason why she died. It wasn't really the Eleanor we knew, was it? Who expected her to do such things? None of us, I'm sure. It makes you wonder what drove her to these extremes. Some may blame her violent video games, altering her personality for the worse.

"Some may blame the stress of trying to run a family when her husband is always in his laboratory, constantly at risk of blowing the entire facility up. And I am disappointed to say, but some of you actually blame her son. I truly cannot understand why, but you blame him anyway. I can believe you're only taking Eleanor's word for it, but still.

"But we aren't here to linger on her faults, now are we? We are here to appreciate her life, and hope that her sins are forgiven. I'm sure we will all remember and miss her, whether as Eleanor Membrane or Eleanor Rigby." Deangelo finished and walked back to his seat. Other family members and friends also got up to speak.

:~:~:

"Hm. Well, that was a fascinating experience," Professor Membrane recounted as he walked out of the church with his two children. "Although I don't mind not having to go there again. The people there disagreed with so many obvious facts, proven with _real science_!"

The family of three got into their car to drive to the wake being held later that day. The Professor was always one known for being exactly on time. On the way there, Gaz was playing her Game Slave. Dib wondered how she could play it, since her eyes were still shut tight.

Once there, they said hello to the rest of the family. Deangelo and his brother, Eleanor's father, were the first to greet them. Deangelo's brother welcomed them in. "Hello, Professor Membrane! It's great to see you took time out of your busy schedule to come!"

"It's fine, really. I didn't want to seem rude or uncaring. If I could take more than one day off in a month, then I would certainly come visit this side of the family more often. But science never rests, does it?" the Professor replied. He and Gaz walked in to say hello to other family members, but Deangelo's brother pulled Dib back.

The boy looked up at him, a sad smile on his face. He tried his best to keep his voice cheerful. "Hello, Grandpa! It's been a long time since we've visited, huh?" To be truthful, Dib was never allowed to visit any of his family, just like with his father. The only ones who ever remembered him were Deangelo and his brother.

Dib's grandfather sighed. "Dib, do you realize what you've done to this family?"

With each word Dib spoke, the false cheeriness wore away. "I... I didn't mean to do anything... I-it was an accident..." The boy's gaze fell to his feet.

Deangelo pulled the boy to the side. He spoke with a calm voice. "Renaldo, you can't blame the poor boy for all this. Do you think he _wanted_ his mother to die?"

Renaldo wasn't as calm. "Well, with how the police made it sound, maybe he _did_ want my daughter dead!"

"That's ridiculous; if he wanted her dead, then wouldn't he be glad right now, instead of looking like he does?"

"The boy's acting! You think he's stupid enough to act in such a barbaric manner in front of his family?"

As the argument progressed, it only got worse, at least on Renaldo's part. Deangelo tried to keep it on the low side, but it didn't stop his brother. Finally, Dib couldn't stand it, and left without either of them noticing.

The boy walked over to an empty area and just sat down by himself. He didn't want to be with his family. They all blamed him for his mother's death. "And they all think I'm acting... They think I'm happy about all this. Why? Did I do something wrong? I didn't tell anyone, I tried to back Mom up, I even tried to switch places with her..." His voice now switched to a more sarcastic tone. "Well, of _course_ I'm happy about this! Of _course_ I hated my own mother like some heartless _beast_! Because all children deserve to _never_ be punished, and to all be spoiled brats! I didn't want my mother to teach me right from wrong! Discipline, _shmiscipline_! A single scolding and it's _child abuse_! Of course she deserved to die! It's not like I _loved_ her like a child should love their mother! _Never_!"

Dib fell silent, and tears filled his eyes. He hugged his knees and sat there, thinking of all that happened to him up to this point. "Out of all the things that have happened to me, I can't remember how much good there possibly was..." Dib recounted all that had happened in his (currently short) life, from the experiments to his fingers. "... And here I am, at Mom's wake." He thought for a moment, silently now. He spoke up again. "Maybe the ghost toy was right. Maybe my life _is_ a nightmare, camouflaged with the rare joy or two..." Dib thought again. A tiny smile appeared on his face. "Well, even if he is right, there is one thing I know that _will_ happen. My life can only get better from here!"

A voice shouted over to the boy. "Well, sounds like someone's staying optimistic!"

"Uncle!" Dib looked over to see Deangelo, who was walking over to where the boy was sitting.

"Your grandfather says he's sorry, but he won't admit it to your face. He can be odd at times. I hope you don't feel bad about that argument back there."

"It's fine. He's probably just upset, like everyone else."

"That's the spirit! Forgiving and kind. We don't have enough people in the world today who are like that." Dib's great-uncle patted the boy on the head. "You'll grow up to be a great person, I just know it. Don't let anyone change that in you, okay?"

"Okay. Hey, Uncle, I have a question. Remember that one ghost toy you got me a few years ago?"

"Yes, I remember. What of it?"

"Did it have any... Special powers or something? It seems to talk to me sometimes. No one else seems to hear it."

"No, I don't think it was paranormal or freaky in itself. Maybe it changed after I gave it to you."

"Yeah, that's probably it." There was a silence for a few seconds. Then Deangelo spoke up.

"I think they're taking food out now. Want to go grab some?"

Dib smiled brightly. "Yes, please! I'm starving!"

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><p><strong>AN: And for all we know, Dib could have meant that literally.**

**Now I hope everyone gets the reference that I had made since I originally introduced Deangelo Rigby, or Uncle. If you don't get it, then you should listen to the Beatles more.**

**Yeah, this was the death you've been waiting for. Without the details, though. Or any mention of her, other than the fact that it was her funeral. I hope you aren't _too_ disappointed. **

**After this, it's only an epilogue, so I guess this is the last official chapter. Yay! Or boo! I don't really know if this fact is good or bad. Oh well.**


	21. Epilogue: The Nightmare Began

**A/N: Well, lookit! The epilogue! **

**Why was the update so quick? Well, I'm going to try for a fixed schedule, so I have time to write them. Good? Good. I don't think you'll notice the difference.**

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><p>Dib was walking home from Skool with his sister. "Come on! They all really believed it was a skin condition? Are they blind?"<p>

Gaz had been stuck listening to his voice the entire time. His voice only made it harder to concentrate on her video game. "_You're_ almost blind, with those glasses of yours."

"Oh, you should certainly talk, you haven't opened your eyes in practically a year!" Gaz paused her game to push her brother into the street, who just barely missed getting hit by a teenage driver texting at the wheel. "Okay, okay. Never mind. But _you_ believe me, right?"

She continued to play her Game Slave. "Not really."

The boy sighed. "Well, you'll see. You just need to take one good look at him, and you'll see how inhuman he is."

The boy Dib was talking about was a new student, named Zim. Zim said he was from a place called Rekiah. The kid started class two days ago. He supposedly had a freaky skin condition that turned his skin green and prevented him from having a nose or ears. Somehow, he convinced the entire Skool that he was completely normal. The fact that he shouted the fact every ten minutes didn't help. Dib knew the boy was an alien.

Gaz never supported Dib in any way possible. "I'm guessing you've looked him over multiple times..."

As the two siblings walked into their home, Dib noticed Gaz was wearing the necklace he gave her some years back. "Gaz, why are you wearing that necklace? I thought you hated it or something."

"Your avoidable personality seemed to have rubbed off on this piece of junk. Less people bother me when I wear it."

Dib smiled. "Well, you're welcome then." He ran upstairs into his room to analyze the data he had collected on Zim.

"Hello, Dib." NaInCom had been updated with a faster processor, among other minor tweaks and bug fixes. "How was today?"

"Fine. Can you bring up the data we have on Zim?"

"Sure." Various windows popped up, showing all sorts of data. But so far, most of the data was either speculation or blank areas.

In the middle of rereading a page he filled in, he paused for a moment. He turned to face the foot of his bed, where a certain stuffed animal sat. A stuffed animal with a bandage below its button eyes. "Huh? Why would he-"

He stopped abruptly, listening to something. "No. I only want to turn him in to the Swollen Eyeball. They can take care of any dissecting."

Another pause. "I don't really want to. I mean, it would be cool to see what the inside of an alien looked like, but I still remember how it felt when I was a test subject. I can't stand thinking of-"

This pause seemed to last especially long. "Well, he does seem to have something against me. And he does shout a lot. But that doesn't mean that I-"

A short pause. "What? No, he didn't mention that yet."

An even shorter pause. "How would you know? You're stuck in here all day! It isn't like you have spy cameras-" Dib looked over at NaInCom. "Well, I guess you could, if they were set up. But they aren't, so you don't know!"

A longer pause. Dib gulped. "You can't... How could you do that? You're a toy!"

A very short pause. "You heard me! You are a _toy_! You can't move around!"

NaInCom spoke up. "A child's plaything indeed. What do you hear that's making you argue like this?"

Dib turned to his laptop. "The toy! It has to be haunted or something! Maybe you don't hear it because you're a computer. Maybe it's only speaking to me!" The boy turned to the ghost toy again. "And for the last time, _neither_ of us heard him making fun of my head, okay?"

Yet another pause, this one the longest so far. "He did mention conquering when he thought no one was listening... I know he's dangerous! He has a bomb attached to his wrist! But no, he doesn't seem like the suicide-bomber type. Too big an ego. However, he has to be stopped!"

A quick pause. "... I guess dissecting him _would_ stop him for good... So I'll have to make sure it happens!"

Dib turned to his computer and clicked on a window showing all sorts of possible anatomy for the alien. The boy was set on finding the best way to cut it up, and worked on that for two hours before he heard his sister. "Dib! Get down here unless you don't mind starving!" Dib ran downstairs to eat.

The meal for tonight: Chinese food, one of the extremely few types of food that the siblings got from an actual restaurant. The only other one was pizza, but Dib generally tried to avoid dairy. He had found that he gets coughing fits after eating dairy. He blamed his artificial stomach (which still hadn't grown, so it was about average sized at this point); Gaz just called him a whiner.

Upon finishing their dinner, they simply returned to what they were doing earlier, just like every day. This pattern has been repeating itself for almost a year now, ever since their mother died. Neither of the siblings like to talk about it.

Gaz sits on the living room couch, starting up the game she had been playing earlier. It was Portal 2, of which the girl had started a new game. It was her mother's favorite, but Gaz wasn't sure why. That's why she kept playing it over and over; otherwise, she would've played a newer game.

Gaz could hear talking upstairs. She knew it was her brother, talking to that computer of his. _God, he needs to get a life._

She thought about that for a second. She knew he had no friends, at least now. Certainly not when he was being annoying. Gaz didn't have any friends either, but that's because she didn't want them. They would only be a bother. Dib was pathetic in her eyes because he had no friends and probably wanted them. That was the big difference.

_Why am I even thinking about this? I need to concentrate._ She turned the game's volume up high and kept playing.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, it looks like this story is finally over, right?**

**Well, technically, yes. But I'm going to be adding to this occasionally. Maybe a bonus chapter, or I might rewrite a poorly-done chapter. So, keep those Alerts! **

**But, beyond this, I will be writing other stories. They will often reference this, or they may simply be a continuation of this story! So don't be sad now that I'm finished, okay?**


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